Dear Sammy
by OzzyTheNinja
Summary: After the attack at his old school, Blaine transfers to McKinley High an anxious mess, afraid to show his sexuality and not knowing if he'll ever fully recover. That is, until a boy named Sam Evans befriends him and shows him it's not necessary to be so afraid. Two and a half years later, Blaine decides he has to tell Sam how he feels about him, despite the consequences. BLAM!
1. Prologue

Prologue

Blaine had been sitting there staring at the blank piece of paper for so long that he started to drive himself mad with the continuous tapping of his pencil on the desk. He gave a frustrated sigh and slammed the pencil down.

What on Earth was he supposed to say? It's not like he had ever confessed his love for someone in a letter before, and even now he was reluctant to start. It was better than the alternative, he supposed- he could never tell Sam this in person. Blaine couldn't stand to think of a possible bad reaction, such as his best friend looking at him like he was grossed out, or saying he didn't want to be friends anymore… No, Blaine couldn't stand the idea of facing that, so he decided on this cheesy and cowardly move of writing a letter so that he could tell Sam a quick goodbye before he left that afternoon. This way he wouldn't have to worry about Sam's reaction for three months, and he was keeping his promise to his dad that he would tell Sam how he felt.

Blaine hated leaving Sam on such uncertain terms, but it was draining him to be around the person he loves every day knowing those feelings could never be returned. It was too much. He needed a break from it all, so it was sadly convenient that his dad had to go to Colorado that summer to a special treatment center.

But no, he didn't have time to think about that now. He had one day only to write this stupid letter. It was the last day of school and he had decided to blow off his classes and head to the library. To ensure that Sam didn't come looking for him (though Blaine doubted Sam would _ever_ come to the library), he enlisted the help of Asian Persuasion herself. She was to keep Sam busy and assure him that Blaine would be in the choir room that afternoon to say goodbye.

Ok, he needed to focus. He had been there for forty-five minutes already and accomplished nothing. He slowly wrote 'Dear Sammy' and hovered the pencil over the next blank line with uncertainty. Where was he supposed to start? He supposed he may as well start at the very beginning, when he first met Sam two and a half years ago, because, if he was being honest, he started crushing on him even then. Blaine let his mind wander back through time and thought about each moment that brought him here, each moment he fell more in love with his best friend.


	2. First Encounters

Chapter One: First Encounters

Freshmen Year- January 6th

Blaine glanced down one more time at his schedule to make sure he was at the right classroom. Yep, this was it- freshmen Spanish, his last class on his first long and dull day at McKinley High. He walked in and scanned the room for an empty seat. With dismay he realized the only available spot was next to a blond boy with a Letterman jacket. Dam, him and jocks didn't have a good history. He sat quietly, wishing he was invisible. The blond boy looked over and gave him a small, friendly smile. Blaine quickly looked straight ahead, suddenly feeling panicky. This happened a lot since he had gotten assaulted- talking or even making eye contact with new people made him paranoid. He was constantly on edge these days, as if around every corner there was a homophobe waiting to teach him a second lesson. In his mind Blaine knew that was ridiculous, but he still couldn't stop his body from wanting to flee every time he was around other people. It was really inconvenient, to say the least.

"Alright everyone!" The teacher-Mr. Schuester, Blaine recalled- yelled from the front of the room. "We have a new student this semester!" he said brightly, gesturing to Blaine. "This is Blaine Anderson. Blaine, why don't you stand up tell us about yourself!" Mr. Schuester smiled.

Oh God, no! Blaine groaned internally. He had been lucky all day until then. The teachers just said his name and moved on, but not this one… Evil man… His anxiety skyrocketed. He felt nauseous and like his throat was closing up. He managed a meek, "Um, I'd really rather not, if that's ok…"

Mr. Schuester gave him an empathetic nod (oh God, did he _know?_ ) and said, "Of course. Welcome to the class." He turned to write on the board.

Blaine's whole body felt hot, so he knew he was as red as his bowtie. His heart was racing in his ears. He kept his eyes pointed forward despite some whispers, wishing he could just crawl in a whole, disappear, anything to get out of this room.

Mr. Schuester started the lesson and everyone minded their business again, everyone except for one person. Blaine could feel someone still staring. He glanced up and saw the boy with the Letterman jacket looking over at him with curiosity. Blaine's heart jumped in his throat as he turned back to the teacher. Why was he staring? Did he already suspect Blaine was gay? He had to focus on breathing slowly as he started to panic. What would this guy and his friends do to him, and did it really have to be on his first day, for crying out loud?!

The longest few seconds in the history of time passed before the blue-eyed stranger finally turned to face the front. Blaine sat tensely for the rest of the class, not hearing a word of the lesson but instead focusing on bolting the second he could. Mr. Schuester dismissed them but before Blaine could even attempt his escape, the boy stood up and held out his hand.

"Hi, I'm Sam. Sam Evans," he said with an easy smile.

Blaine froze. He wasn't expecting that, so it took him a couple moments longer than it should have to respond. "Blaine," he said quietly, squeezing Sam's hand quickly and letting go instead of shaking properly.

"So do you like to sing?" Sam asked.

"What?" Blaine exclaimed, taken aback by the pure randomness of the question. Was this a joke? He cleared his throat and answered, "I mean, yeah, I guess…" he shuffled uncomfortably, wanting nothing more than to be away from this new person and go home so then maybe he could breathe normally again.

"You should totally come to glee club!" Sam said excitedly, his blue eyes alight with energy. "Mr. Shue's the director, and we could use another member."

"You would love it, Blaine," Mr. Shue interjected. "And they're a great group of people. It would be a good way to make new friends."

"We're going there now, if you want to come see what it's like," Sam offered kindly.

Blaine felt like he was going to pass out. His irrational fear was getting the best of him. He looked from Sam to Mr. Shue and back, trying to think of a way to say no without being rude. "Um, not today. Maybe another time," he said, and without wasting a beat he was out the door and almost running to the car. He got in the passenger seat and deeply sighed in relief before looking over at his dad, who gave him an apprehensive look and asked hesitantly, "So how was your first day?"

Blaine thought back and realized it actually hadn't been that bad. In fact it had been pretty boring until Sam and Mr. Shue talked to him, and they were being friendly, so it's not like it was a bad thing. "It was actually pretty good," he answered honestly.

"Then why do you look so happy to be leaving?" his dad asked, and Blaine realized he had no answer that didn't make him seem crazy.

"I'm just tired," he lied.

His dad knew better, though. After all, he's seen first-hand how bad it really was- the constant panic attacks and increasing isolation for the last month…

"It will all be okay, son," he said knowingly, giving Blaine a comforting squeeze on his shoulder. Blaine nodded vaguely, hoping he was right.

Yeah, to say he was just a little spooked by the attack at his last school would be a massive understatement.

Xxxxx

January 22nd

Life at McKinley was going smoother than Blaine expected. He had managed to stay off the radar so far. All anyone knew about the new kid Blaine Anderson was that he was extremely shy and kept to himself. The only contact he ever had with another person that he didn't mind was in Spanish class, where every day Sam would turn to him, give him a friendly smile and say, "Hi Blaine!" like they were the best of friends. Blaine even sat by himself in the hallway at lunch and would read in the library when he was done eating. He had no problem with this lifestyle, as unhealthy as he knew it was.

He was on his way to Spanish when he saw Kurt, a boy from history class, get pushed into a locker just a few steps ahead of him. The two bullies walked away like nothing happened. When they were a safe distance away Blaine went to go help Kurt pick up his things, but Sam had already beaten him there.

"Are you alright, dude?" Sam asked as he offered Kurt his hand.

"Yeah, thanks Sam."

"That Karofsky guy just won't let up," Sam said irritably.

"That's ok. He's just a coward," Kurt smiled. "So are you ready to perform in glee today?"

"Yeah. I'm going to sing a One Direction song to Quinn and hopefully make her rethink getting back with Finn."

Kurt laughed and rolled his eyes. "Sam, singing about love triangles in glee never ends well."

"It's worth a shot," Sam said but laughed in agreement. Just then he looked up and noticed Blaine, who was just standing there eavesdropping like a weirdo. "Hey, Blaine, what's up?" Sam said in his usual cheerful manner, as if Blaine wasn't just caught being extremely rude.

"Oh, hi. Not much. I mean, I was just seeing if you were ok, Kurt, but um, never mind I guess," he said awkwardly and attempted to smile before escaping to Spanish. Well that was embarrassing.

Sam followed him and took his usual seat. "So how do you like McKinley so far?" he asked.

"It's good," said Blaine. Wow he sucked at making conversation these days. He looked away nervously, his mind drawing a blank on how to talk like a normal human being.

"I like your notebook," Sam said, nodding to Blaine's X-Men book. "Who's your favorite character?"

"Wolverine," Blaine answered automatically. At least that was an easy one. Sam laughed at his quick reply.

"Yes! I knew you were cool," he said triumphantly.

Blaine couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I like your definition of cool," he said.

"Have you seen the new movie yet?" Sam asked excitedly, practically bouncing in seat.

"No," Blaine said. He couldn't remember the last time he went and saw a movie.

"Oh, bro, you have to see it," he said dramatically. "One of my favorites so far."

"I'll remember that," said Blaine. Mr. Shue called everyone to start the lesson. Sam smiled and looked forward.

Huh, sadly that was the most Blaine had talked since he started at this school, and the surprising thing was that he didn't feel nervous right now. Sam was so friendly and non-threatening that it was easy to talk to him... And he smiled a lot. Blaine liked his smile, it was cute. His hair was cute too. Ok, Blaine would admit it, he thought Sam was all-around attractive, and he was also nice, which made him even _more_ attractive. Blaine felt guilty for assuming he was a bullying jock that first day, when in fact Sam was kind enough to help Kurt, the only out gay guy in school.

Maybe he _should_ check out the glee club. After all, it wouldn't kill him to meet new people. It might make him a fidgety and paranoid mess but it wouldn't kill him. If anyone asked why he joined glee, he would say it was because he was trying to be more involved in school activities, maybe even trying to move on from what happened at his old school, but Blaine unwillingly admitted to himself that it was also because he liked the idea of seeing Sam more. And that was very, very stupid considering Sam was planning on singing a love song to a _girl_ that day.

Well, there was nothing wrong with just admiring from afar, right?

Xxxx

March 17th

"Nice bowtie, fairy," Karofsky guffawed loudly. Azimio laughed right on cue and stepped threateningly towards Blaine. Both boys laughed at the way he flinched and backed right into a locker.

"Aw, he's scared. Go run to your buddy Lady Hummel," Karofsky teased. He and Azimio bumped fists and strutted away.

Blaine's flight response was in overdrive as he hurried to Spanish class. It had started. The school found out he was gay- well really everyone had just assumed because he sat with Kurt at lunch, but he _did_ officially come out to the glee club. And now it was happening again. How long would it be until Blaine had to transfer yet again? How long until something bad happened?

Blaine plopped in his chair, breathless and a little shaky.

"Dude, are you ok?" Sam asked the second he saw him.

"Yeah. It's nothing," he said, trying to sound like he wasn't completely freaking out.

"Did something happen?" Sam asked.

"No, everything's fine," Blaine said, with more attitude than he meant to. He hastily took out his phone and asked Dad to be there right after school. He definitely wasn't going to glee today. After hitting 'send' with a shaky finger Blaine looked up to see Sam studying him, trying to read his mind.

"It was Karofsky, wasn't it?" he guessed correctly.

"I said it's fine. Just leave it alone, ok?" Blaine begged. Sam grimaced as Mr. Shue started class. Blaine focused intently on taking his notes in order to calm down, the minutes dragging by ridiculously slowly.

"Ready?" Sam asked when Mr. Shue finally dismissed them.

"Actually, I'm just going to head straight home today. I have a lot of homework to do." That was a blatant lie. Outside of glee club Blaine had no social life, so he had nothing better to do than get ahead on his studies. Even glee club didn't count for much; he's only sang once and that was at Kurt's insistence. He usually just watched and occasionally played the piano for a number they were doing. He talked just enough not to be considered weird, but kept a safe enough distance so he never fully committed to anyone or anything. He just preferred it that way.

"Regionals are this weekend, man. You should come," Sam said, not unkindly.

"I know the moves well enough," he dodged. It's not like had a solo- he would just be in the background, which was perfectly fine with him, but it's not like he needed any more practice. Blaine glanced at Mr. Shue, who was getting his things together before heading to glee. Now was his chance. "Tell Mr. Shue I'll see everyone tomorrow, ok?" he gave Sam a pleading look. His only goal right now was to go home where he was safe. His stomach was twisting with anxiety.

"Alright," Sam surrendered, but he looked a little concerned.

"Thanks," he mumbled and hurried out of the room. When he got in the car Dad noticed his obvious distress and relief to be going home. He gave Blaine a sympathetic look, knowing it was one of those days. Blaine appreciated that he didn't try to talk to him about it. Unlike Mom, Dad wasn't overbearing and never pressured him to talk about things, and that was something Blaine loved most about him.

When he got home Blaine went straight to his room, as usual, and decided to read a book to distract himself. He was so engrossed in the story- it was about teen superheroes and zombies, naturally- that he didn't hear the doorbell ring. He jumped a little when Dad came in.

"A friend of yours is here to see you," he said. "I wasn't sure if you wanted him to come in."

Blaine looked at him, puzzled. The only person he might consider a friend would be Kurt.

"He said his name was Sam," his dad informed him when Blaine didn't respond.

Sam? What on Earth was he doing at Blaine's house? They didn't know each other that well. Blaine was too shy to say much to him, and he was back with that cheerleader Quinn Fabray, who Blaine really didn't care to be around.

He set down his book and went to the front door, at a complete loss as to why Sam Evans was standing on his front porch.

"Hey, Sam. Uh, what are you doing here?" Blaine asked unsurely.

"I need to talk to you. Can I come in?" he asked politely.

"Sure," Blaine said, gesturing him inside.

Sam walked in and looked around. "Wow, nice house, dude!" he exclaimed. He continued to the living room and made himself comfortable on the couch.

"Thanks. So, what did you want to talk to me about?" Blaine asked nervously as he sat in the recliner. He didn't like doing things outside his comfort zone, and sitting in his living room talking to a guy he found attractive was definitely not included in that. Blaine noticed how muscular Sam's arms were as he ran his hand through his hair. He really tried _not_ to notice things like this, but really, how could someone be so good-looking?

"I think you should sing a song at regionals," Sam stated bluntly.

Well that certainly got Blaine's attention off of his arms. "A solo? No way. Why would you say that?" He laughed at the sheer absurdity of the idea.

"Because it will help you," Sam said, as if that explained everything.

"I'm not following…"

For the first time Sam actually looked a little nervous as he continued: "Well… Ok, look, you were driving me nuts being all mysterious and quiet. I wanted to know what your deal was, so a couple weeks ago I did some digging and I, uh, found out what happened at your old school." He looked down guiltily at the last part.

It felt like Blaine's insides had turned to ice. He did what?! He knew? How humiliating! "How did you…?" Blaine trailed off. He couldn't talk. His brain wasn't functioning- it was full of shocked white noise.

"I convinced Ms. Pillsbury to tell me," Sam answered Blaine's incomplete question. "I'm sorry, but I really think singing about what happened could help. I know that sounds dumb, but you'd be surprised at what music could do."

When Blaine didn't say anything Sam reached into his backpack and thrust some papers at him.

"Cher is one of your favorite artists, right? Look, I'm just asking you to really consider it. Quinn and I would give the opening number to you instead."

Blaine sorted the papers and saw that it was sheet music for one of his all-time favorite Cher songs, 'You Haven't Seen the Last of me.'

"How did you know I liked Cher?" Blaine asked curiously, because he didn't know how to respond to the solo proposal.

"Oh, I heard you and Kurt talking about it in glee club," Sam said dismissively. "Anyway, will you consider it?"

This was insane. Blaine couldn't handle the embarrassment of Sam knowing what happened, or the craziness of this idea, or the way Sam's eyes were looking at him so earnestly and waiting for an answer.

"I'll think about it," he said, though he couldn't imagine actually going through with it. Sam smiled in victory anyway and got up to leave.

"Awesome! You would be great. You just have to sing the song with everything you've got, and, most importantly, you have to believe what you're singing." Sam said in a teacher-like tone.

"And Mr. Shue is ok with this? Which means he knows, too?" Blaine's face went red. He never wanted anyone to know.

"Of course your teachers know why you transferred, but I'm the only student that knows, and I won't tell anybody," Sam promised.

Blaine sighed, suddenly feeling drained. This was too much for one day. "I'll let you know by Thursday, ok?"

"Ok. See you tomorrow, dude," Sam said happily as he gave Blaine a departing pat on his shoulder.

Blaine remained in the rocking chair for quite some time processing what just happened. Sam knew and he wanted to help, but could Blaine possibly sing in front of all those people? What if he costs the New Directions the whole competition? A faint voice in the back of Blaine's head said he should go for it. He did love to sing, and maybe it could help him feel a little better like Sam said. Maybe he wouldn't feel so afraid anymore. If so then is was worth a shot, maybe?

Blaine went up to his room, put the Cher song on his iPod and hooked it up to his speakers. It wouldn't hurt to just test it out…

Xxxxx

March 22nd- Regionals

Everything was still, the atmosphere full of suspense as the host got ready to announce the winners. This was it. This is when Blaine would find out if he ruined it for everyone. He sang his solo as passionately as he could, but the competition was fierce. He did feel better, though. He definitely needed that cathardic release, and right now he was so full of adrenaline and endorphins that he didn't feel scared at all- well, except at the prospect of losing.

He looked up at Sam to see if he was as nervous as him. On the contrary, he looked excited, like they had already won. He leaned in and whispered in Blaine's ear, "We got this, dude. You were amazing!" He gave Blaine a side hug and Blaine couldn't help the tingles he got when Sam was so close to him.

"And the winner of the Annual Lima Regional Show Choir Competition is…"

Everyone stopped breathing. Sam squeezed Blaine harder in anticipation.

"From McKinley High School, the Neeww Directiioonnns!" the host roared, and suddenly the auditorium was full of noise. Blaine clapped and jumped, utterly relieved. Everyone started hugging each other, and Blaine was so ecstatic that for the first time in a long time, he let himself go and enjoyed being around these people, enjoyed the feeling of comradery and victory. He hugged Sam with a huge smile on his face and when he pulled back he saw his joy reflected in Sam's features.

"You did it!" Sam yelled over the overwhelming noise.

Blaine looked up at him through the falling confetti, feeling very grateful that Sam made him do this. He gave him another hug and yelled, "Thank you!"

Sam understood what he meant and smiled wider. He then screamed loudly in celebration, making Blaine laugh, and continued his round of hugs.

Blaine's stomach was full of butterflies. He felt elated, like he was floating, and later he realized that he wasn't just happy about winning, but also that his crush on Sam had grown a little bigger. He hadn't intended that to happen, but he would just have to ignore it. It would pass soon, and Blaine felt like him and Sam were actually friends now, so he didn't want anything to mess that up.


	3. Friendship- Part 1

Chapter 2: Friendship- Part 1

April 1st

Blaine walked cautiously to class that morning. Karofsky had been giving him and Kurt a hard time lately, so every day Blaine came to school a nervous wreck (what else was new?) He was always on high alert, keeping his eyes and ears out for any sign of Karofsky or his body guards.

Blaine had a particularly bad feeling that morning, considering it was April fools day and bullies had nothing better to do than pull pranks and humiliate their prey. It turns out he had a good reason for being uneasy. After history Blaine said bye to Kurt and headed to Algebra, his body ready to flee if necessary. He felt them approaching as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He quickly turned around and, sure enough, there was Karofsky and Azimio, each holding something behind their backs with devious smirks on their faces.

"Good morning," Karofsky said with fake politeness.

Blaine didn't wait another second. He turned and weaved in and out of the crowd of students and bolted to the nearest door, which led to the men's locker room. Unfortunately they saw where Blaine went and cornered him in there within seconds.

"Relax, we're just here to give you a refreshing morning beverage," Azimio laughed.

Blaine tried to make a quick escape but Karofsky caught him and pushed him up against the wall, pinning him forcefully against the cold tile, bringing back feelings from that night that made his insides twist with fear.

"Of course you would run to the boys locker room," Karofsky said in a disgusted tone. "I bet you were just waiting for the guys in gym to come in here and strip."

The next thing Blaine knew his face was covered in blue, sticky, and freezing slushie. Luckily he had closed his eyes in time.

"Have a nice day!" Azimio said and they both left, just in time for the boys gym class to walk in. Blaine sloppily wiped his face and tried to hurry to the nearest shower to hide, but it was a futile attempt. His heart pumping loudly, Blaine froze where he stood when everyone walked in.

Thankfully, by some miracle of the universe, both Sam's and Finn's first class was gym, and they were immediately at Blaine's side as some of the other guys started laughing.

"Dude, are you ok?" Finn asked, not because of the slushie that was now dripping down his back but because Blaine was pretty sure he had started shaking. He couldn't find it in him to form words so he took off from the locker room, into the crowded hallways where he desperately made his way to the nearest bathroom. He ran in and knelt over the sink, trying to catch his breath. A couple minutes later Sam followed suit. Blaine immediately turned on the faucet and started cleaning up, embarrassed by his reaction.

Sam walked up and handed him a gray T-shirt. "Here, it'll be big on you, but it's better than keeping that on," he nodded to Blaine's soaked shirt.

"Thanks," Blaine took it gratefully and went into a stall to change. When he walked out Sam chuckled and joked, "Wow, Blaine without a bowtie. Never thought I'd see the day!"

"Oh ha-ha," Blaine said sarcastically. Now that he thought about it, he was a little bummed that his favorite yellow bowtie was now stained, making it an ugly green that reminded him of vomit.

He checked himself in the mirror to make sure he didn't miss any blue on his face or in his hair.

"Are you ok?" Sam asked sincerely.

"Yeah, it's just a slushie," Blaine said, wanting to sound as if he wasn't like the cowardly lion. He knew Sam didn't buy it, but he let it go and offered to walk Blaine to his math class.

"Wait for me after class, ok? I'm going to start walking with you, and Finn's going to walk with Kurt from now on. We're sick of this guy's crap," Sam said.

"Ok," Blaine nodded. He couldn't say no to that after what just happened.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. It depressed Blaine to think that the day was just starting. He was already spent and wanted to go home.

"Hey, would you want to come work out with me today after glee?" Sam asked suddenly as they reached the door to the classroom.

Sam seemed to really have a knack for catching him off-guard with the most random and absurd questions. Blaine had never worked out in his life, and he was not eager to start. He was too self-conscious.

"Um, I don't really do that kind of thing," Blaine answered truthfully.

"Well then why not start?" Sam asked.

Blaine shuffled his feet. "I don't know, Sam. Why don't you work out with someone else?"

"I want to teach you how to box," Sam said, and continued quickly at the incredulous look on Blaine's face. "Just hear me out. Not only is it healthy and you'd look awesome, but you could also defend yourself, you know?"

Blaine looked at him in astonishment. He could never picture himself boxing, in a gym, with other fit people, including the guy he was crushing on… Yeah, he didn't see that happening.

"I appreciate the offer, Sam, but maybe another time. I'm just not comfortable- I mean, I've never done it before-" Blaine sputtered.

"No problem, man. Let me know if you change your mind," Sam said and gave Blaine a bear hug (he was a hugger with everyone). "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Blaine said, and was surprised to see that he really was feeling a little better already. At his old school he never had any friends to defend him. At least here he wasn't alone. He believed Sam's presence also had something to do with it. His cheerful manner and hyper energy was very calming to be around.

"Ok. I'll see you in Spanish," Sam departed with his usual smile.

Blaine walked into math and quickly took his seat since he was late, still thinking about Sam's offer. Where did such a kind person like Sam Evans come from? And why, _why_ did he have to be so freaking hot?

Xxxxxx

May 13th

"Come on, Blaine. There's no one else in here," Sam assured again. Blaine walked awkwardly into the weight room, feeling as out of a place as a polar bear would on a desert. Next to Sam he was like a twig; a very undefined, unfit, weak twig.

"Alright, get your gloves on," Sam instructed as he led Blaine to the punching bag. Blaine slipped on Sam's spare pair of gloves that were two sizes too big.

Ok, so Blaine had finally caved and took Sam's offer, but he had to do something. Even with the end of the school year looming near, he didn't know if he could handle Karofsky for another two weeks. Sam and Finn couldn't be glued to their hips twenty-four-seven, so Blaine and Kurt had a couple incidents. Nothing major, just some mild locker shoves, but it was enough to slowly wear Blaine down. Yes, he was doing a little better with his anxiety since he sang at regionals and made new friends in glee, but it wasn't like he was cured, and the constant possibility of running into Karofsky wasn't helping his progress.

"Ok, show me what you got," Sam said when Blaine had his gloves on.

"What? I don't 'got' anything. That's why you're teaching me," Blaine reminded him.

"I have to see what I'm working with, don't I?" Sam countered mischievously.

Blaine was already regretting this decision. With a reluctant sigh he punched the bag a few times, feeling extremely self-conscious, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering as he felt Sam's gaze.

"Sam, I probably look ridiculous," he complained after only a few seconds. This was a bad idea.

"Dude no you don't. Your stance wasn't even that bad. Watch."

Sam showed him the proper ready position and did a few punches, looking way more like a boxer than Blaine did.

Blaine blushed slightly as he unintentionally started checking out Sam's arms again. What was it with those arms? Seriously, no one should be allowed to be this attractive, Blaine thought irritably. How was one _not_ supposed to like him?

"Ok. Now you try. I'm not letting you back out of this, bro," Sam said, reading Blaine's mind. "Pretend I'm not here and imagine the punching bag is someone you'd really like to pound sometime, like a mean teacher or something."

Blaine chuckled at his casual tone. "I've never thought about punching a teacher. Maybe Karofsky, though."

"Perfect! That's even better. Now, try again, and soon enough you'll be the next Rocky Balboa!" Sam screwed up his face to do his best Sylvester Stallone impression. "Aaaddriaann!"

Blaine laughed loudly. Some people thought Sam's impressions were annoying but Blaine actually enjoyed them, and it seemed to make Sam happy when he laughed at or complimented them.

Blaine tried a few more punches, and his heart did a weird flipping thing when Sam grabbed him by the shoulders or arms any time his stance needed some adjusting. Half an hour later Sam had taught Blaine some basic types of punches. Blaine was sweating like a pig and hurting and winded, but he also felt the rush of endorphins that put him in a really good mood.

"Good job, dude! Not bad at all for a first lesson," Sam high-fived him. Blaine laughed, feeling more carefree than he had in months. He sort of felt like himself again for the moment, and it was refreshing.

"If you say so," Blaine said skeptically. He felt sure he looked like an uncoordinated twelve-year old, but decided not to say that out loud.

They got dressed and headed outside to the late bus, joining other students that stayed for after-school activities.

"We'll practice more on Friday, yeah? I'm totally playing 'Eye of the Tiger' next time," Sam laughed as he played some air guitar.

"Sure," Blaine smiled. How could he say no when he was having such a good time?

"Awesome. Hey, do you want to get something to eat and then go to the comic shop? They're having a sale. 30% off on Marvel comics," Sam said excitedly.

"Really? _Anything_ Marvel?" Blaine went wide-eyed. Sam nodded, his eyes just as big as he waited for him to answer. "Well I can't say no to that," Blaine said easily, his heart warming at how happy Sam was to be hanging out.

Perhaps this boxing thing wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Xxxxxx

May 30th- Nationals

No one could hide their disappointment as the confetti rained down for Vocal Adrenaline, the new national champions. The New Directions had placed third. Everyone looked down, feeling utterly defeated, but Blaine didn't think anyone was more upset than Rachel. She looked like she was about to have a stroke and Finn literally had to hold her upright.

Who else would start hugging everyone to try and cheer them up than Sam. "It's ok. We'll get them next year," he kept saying. Blaine appreciated it, but he felt so let down. He actually thought they had a shot. They had been rehearsing non-stop for the last two weeks. Everyone solemnly exited the stage as Vocal Adrenaline continued to celebrate.

Kurt came and gave Blaine a hug. "I can't believe this," he said sadly. "If we can't win using Whitney then we simply can't win!"

"This sucks. They weren't even that great," Blaine shared in Kurt's bitterness. It felt good to be angry at someone. "I love Lady Gaga, but the theme was _Classic Hits._ Lady Gaga has _not_ been around long enough to be considered a classic."

"Agreed! Now let's go eat our feelings away. Are you with me?" Kurt asked.

"Definitely," Blaine agreed.

Xxxxx

Blaine sat stewing in guilt as they started the long bus drive home. He was afraid something like this would happen. He saw the way Kurt looked at him sometimes, noticed how he laughed too hard at his jokes… But he didn't want it to happen on a night that was already as crappy as this one had been.

Blaine and Kurt had went to a pizza place. They talked about Broadway and their plans for when school was out. He informed Kurt that he would be travelling with his parents to L.A. for the summer to visit his brother. Blaine wasn't particularly fond of Cooper, but he was excited to spend almost three months in the city of angels.

At this news Kurt seemed quite bummed, and that's when he said that he was glad they had become such good friends and then asked Blaine if he would go out with him. Being the awkward person Blaine naturally was, he stuttered out some lame response on how they should just stay friends and that he wasn't looking for a boyfriend. Kurt interrupted him, his face turning red. "It's ok. I understand. I'm going to go pack my stuff," he said breathlessly and attempted to smile. Then he was gone and Blaine was left alone in a random pizza joint in New York.

Blaine felt another wave of guilt as he replayed the scene in his head, again. Kurt was really nice, but Blaine couldn't see himself in any kind of relationship right now (even if it was with a certain blond friend he crushed on). He wouldn't be very comfortable with PDA of any kind after what happened. He was already getting enough crap from Karofsky and his cronies; imagine what they would do if they saw Kurt and Blaine holding hands in the hallway. Also, he didn't like Kurt that way. He was cool to hang out with and Blaine would always be grateful for the kindness he showed him when he started at McKinley, but he couldn't see them as boyfriends.

Blaine's phone vibrated and he saw that it was a text from Sam. He was sitting in the front of the bus with Quinn sleeping on his shoulder. 'Is everything ok? U seem weird,' it read. Blaine glanced behind him at Kurt, who was sleeping next to an also sleeping Mercedes- aside from Mr. Shue and Rachel, Blaine and Sam were the only ones awake.

No, Blaine was definitely not ok, but he didn't want to tell anyone about what happened out of respect for Kurt. He replied, 'Yeah, just bummed we lost.'

'Ur lying!' Sam said. Blaine looked up from his phone to see Sam turn halfway around, grinning playfully as he waved his finger at Blaine, pretty much saying: _Tisk tisk, you rotten little liar._ Blaine chuckled at Sam's accusing expression and then, with deliberate slowness, tucked his phone in his pocket to let Sam know he didn't intend to respond.

Sam looked at him curiously, so Blaine cocked his eyebrows and waved his finger back at Sam, saying _Tisk tisk, it's none of your business._ Sam smiled and shook his head as he turned back around.

Blaine laughed to himself, feeling a lot lighter than he had a minute ago. Sam was good at that.

Xxxxxx

June 7th- The Last Day of School

"Have a good summer, Blaine," Kurt said.

"Thanks, Kurt. You too."

Kurt smiled blandly and walked away. Things had been weird with them since nationals, and no matter how hard Blaine tried to be casual with him, there was always an awkward vibe in the air that they couldn't escape. He just hoped that over time it dissipated.

Everyone in glee finished saying goodbyes for the summer. "Dude, when are you leaving?" Sam asked after a hug, an excited gleam in his eyes.

"Tomorrow morning," Blaine sighed. It saddened him to know he wouldn't see any of these people for three months. Everyone in that room had welcomed him with open arms (even Santana, in her own weird way) and made him feel safer here. He would miss Sam the most- Blaine hung out with him outside of school more than anyone else.

"Come with me. I have a present for you," Sam said. Blaine followed him to this locker, wondering what it could be. Sam grabbed a colorful birthday gift bag and gave it to him. Blaine smiled widely and opened it to find a pair of red and white boxing gloves. He beamed at them.

Sam quickly said, "They're not the best brand, but at least you'll have your own to take with you, and they'll actually fit."

Blaine was thrilled with them. "Thanks, Sammy!" he exclaimed as he tried them on. "But it's not my birthday. What's this for?"

"Your birthday's in July, so I figured I'd give them to you before you left. Now, since I'm _obviously_ the coolest friend ever, you have to promise me you'll stick with boxing over the summer. You're getting a lot better so you should keep at it," Sam demanded.

Blaine felt so happy right now he would do anything Sam asked (let's be honest, he would do that anyway). "I promise," he said, delightfully punching the gloves together like a kid with new toys on Christmas morning.

"Sam!" Quinn's bossy voice intruded. She came and grabbed Sam's hand. "Come on, we have to go. My parents are waiting," she whined.

"Sorry, babe," Sam said wistfully, getting that glossy-eyed, bored look that he usually wore whenever Quinn was around. Blaine didn't really like her, for obvious reasons.

"Have an awesome summer, bro," Sam patted his back. "Happy early birthday."

Blaine got distracted by Sam's smile. It was so pretty… _Crap! Respond, Blaine!_

He quickly recovered himself and cleared his throat. "Thanks. I love my present." He turned to Quinn, not wanting to be rude. "Have a good summer, Quinn."

"Thank you, Blaine. Have fun in L.A." Quinn smiled and hauled Sam off.

Blaine put away his early birthday present, still beaming about it, and walked out the side exit of McKinley to his dad's car for the last time for the next three months.


	4. Friendship- Part 2

Chapter 3: Friendship- Part 2

Sophomore Year

August 24th- First Day of School

Blaine walked into McKinley with ten times more confidence than he did on his first day months ago. He had worked out nearly every day in L.A. While he started with boxing (Sam sent him numerous links to instruction videos), he explored other areas like aerobics and weight lifting. He also practiced dancing every day, pushing himself to learn whatever new moves caught his eye. In effect, he actually had muscle tone now. His shoulders were wider, his legs stronger, and even some abs had started to form, to his pleasant surprise.

"Oh my God, Blaine?! Wow, you look amazing!" Tina came running up to him and immediately squeezed his biceps.

"Thank you," Blaine laughed and pulled Tina into a hug. "I missed you! I missed everyone!"

"I missed you, too," Tina said. Blaine heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Wow, Blaine. Did you leave the gym at all this summer?" Mercedes hugged him from behind, also squeezing his arms. Blaine found the attention quite flattering- he would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying himself.

"Hi Mercedes. How was your summer?" he asked.

"Relatively uneventful," she said. "Kurt, Rachel, and I had a lot of chick flick and musical marathons."

Blaine laughed. That definitely sounded like the Rachel and Kurt he remembered. That reminded him- he and Kurt didn't exactly part on the best of terms. Blaine wondered how that reunion would go later.

"How was L.A.?" Tina asked.

"It was awesome," Blaine said. "Check it out!" He whipped out his phone and started showing them all of the pictures he'd taken. Halfway through they were interrupted by another familiar voice, only this one made Blaine's stomach flutter.

"Blaine!"

He whipped his head up and saw Sam waving him over from the water fountain. "I'll see you guys later," he said and speed-walked right into a classic Sam Evans bear hug. As Blaine inhaled his scent all of the feelings he tried to forget about all summer powerfully rushed through him again, memories playing over in his head. He had missed this guy so freaking much. It's like a part of Blaine was complete again now that his best friend was there.

Sam pulled back and held Blaine's shoulders, looking him up and down and making his face heat up. "Well I see you kept your promise. Good job, dude!" he gave Blaine an enthusiastic high five.

"Thanks," Blaine beamed. "I feel so great, like myself again, you know? Or maybe even better than that person. And I have you to thank for it."

"No way. You did that work all on your own," Sam insisted.

"I never would have if you didn't push me. So, thank you, really," Blaine said, trying to convey just how grateful he was. In a way Sam saved his life, pushed him to bounce back from his anxiety-ridden existence that was slowly eating him away.

"No problem." Sam said shyly, seeming a little embarrassed at Blaine's words. Apparently he was good at giving praise, but not so much at receiving it, Blaine observed.

The first bell rang, indicating they had two minutes to get to class.

"I'm headed to World History in room 21. What about you?" Blaine asked.

"Same. Sweet!" And with that they headed off.

"So how are you and Quinn doing?" Blaine asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"We broke up about a month ago," Sam mumbled. "She and Puck are together now. Oh well. It's not like we were that happy together."

"I'm sorry," Blaine said.

"Eh, no biggie. I'm not too worried about a relationship right now."

"I hear you," Blaine agreed whole-heartedly. They walked into class and took two seats in the back of the room.

"Please tell me that you've seen Deadpool," Sam said.

"No…" Blaine admitted shamefully. He was always busy in L.A. There wasn't much time for movies.

"Dude, it's been in theaters for a month now! Want to watch it after school? I can't believe you still haven't seen it!" Sam's tone suggested it was truly a tragic bit of news.

"Sounds good," Blaine said happily. It looks like this year wouldn't be much different than the last. It was as if he and Sam had picked up exactly where they left off.

Xxxxxxx

October 31st

The Blaine Anderson from ten months ago would be caught dead before attending another school dance, but current Blaine was excited to be dressed up as a zombie and going to the Halloween dance at McKinley. He knew for a fact he could defend himself now, and the fact that Karofsky had been expelled recently was a plus. Also, tonight was the glee club's last chance to let loose before really grinding for sectionals in a few weeks, so Blaine wanted to enjoy himself.

That's exactly what he was doing. He had been dancing all night and performed with the glee club a few times, and he had gotten a kick out of Sam's costume: Westley from 'The Princess Bride' all in black like Pirate Roberts, mask included. Apparently, many people had told Sam over the summer that he looked a lot like Cary Elwes, so he dressed as Westley as a joke. He went around yelling "Inconceivable!" at every turn and responding "As you wish" to every question. He even did a perfect impression of Inigo Montoya, causing Blaine to snort while taking a drink and get punch everywhere.

It was a great time, which is why the night had to inevitably be broken up by glee relationship drama. The cat got out that Quinn was pregnant, and it also came to light that it was Puck's, even though she was three months along and had only broken up with Sam a month ago. The meaning of this wasn't lost on Sam, but he was surprisingly cavalier about it. Blaine went to see how he was handling the news, but he found Sam dancing like nothing had happened. Blaine grabbed Sam's hand and pulled him off the dance floor.

"Sam, are you ok?" he asked seriously.

"Yeah. I mean we broke up a month ago, and it's not like we were the happiest couple around," Sam said. "I have bigger things to worry about, anyway."

"Like what?" Blaine asked curiously, caught off guard at Sam's darkened expression.

"Let's not talk about it now," Sam said dismissively, quickly plastering on a fake smile and pulling Blaine back to the dance floor. Blaine dropped the subject, but began to grow a little concerned. What else was going on that had Sam worried to the point where he didn't care that Quinn cheated? Blaine couldn't help but feel a little hurt that Sam didn't come to him. Weren't they best friends? Or was Blaine just a terrible friend for not noticing anything was wrong?

Only one word could sum up what had transpired at the dance in the last fifteen minutes, Blaine thought: Inconceivable!

Xxxxx

November 23rd

"Finn, this is crazy. Rachel is not cheating on you, especially not with Sam," Blaine insisted. They were parked outside a shabby motel on a stake-out at Finn's request. There were rumors going around that Sam was hooking up with Rachel at this motel, but Blaine refused to believe it. He only came because Finn begged him.

"Sam took Quinn from me twice. I just want to make sure," Finn said as he looked through his binoculars. "Look!"

Blaine looked up to see Rachel and Sam come out of the second door and give each other a hug. What? Sam and _Rachel?_ A wave of jealousy rushed through Blaine as he processed what he was seeing. Rachel smiled and left and Sam went back inside. Blaine could feel Finn steaming next to him, and remembered that Finn had more reason to be jealous and pissed off right now than he did.

"I can't believe this!" Finn roared. Blaine sat in disbelief. There had to be an explanation for this. Sam had seemed stressed, irritable, and really busy lately- they hadn't been hanging out as much as usual. If Sam _was_ having some kind of love affair one would think he would be in a better mood. Blaine had asked him what was wrong numerous times since Halloween, but Sam always insisted he was fine and that everything was going to be ok, and not very convincingly.

"There has to be something else going on," Blaine said aloud. "Just stay level-headed here, Finn. We'll straight out ask them tomorrow what's up, ok?"

Finn punched the steering wheel and sighed. "You're right. Lets get the hell out of here," he huffed and angrily shoved the keys into the ignition.

Xxxxx

November 24th

The whole choir room erupted in chaos, full of incoherent yelling that made Blaine cover his ears.

"Tell the truth!" Finn yelled at Rachel.

"Finn, for the last time, I'm not cheating on you with Sam!" Rachel boomed.

"We're telling you the truth, man!" Sam added.

"Then why were you with her at that motel?" Finn pointed at Sam accusingly.

"Because that's where I live now!" Sam yelled and threw his arms up in surrender. The room went quiet in an instant.

"Rachel was bringing me some of her dad's clothes. My dad lost his job a couple months ago and we couldn't afford our house payments anymore, so now we live in that motel in one room! Are you all happy? The truth's finally out!" Sam got up and stormed out, leaving everyone in a stunned silence.

Xxxxx

'Sam, please answer me.' Blaine hit the send button. It was late in the evening and Blaine hadn't heard from him since glee. He felt horrible for Sam, especially as he remembered the embarrassed look on his face when he finally came clean. Blaine wished Sam would have come to him before. He had no idea!

Sam finally answered: 'I'll talk to u about it tomorrow, ok? I just want to sleep now.'

Blaine frowned, feeling completely helpless. 'Ok. Just remember you can tell me anything!'

Blaine sat his phone on his bedside table. He was glad tomorrow was Saturday. He had a whole day to make his best friend feel better. Now he just had to figure out a way to do that.

Xxxx

November 25th

Blaine was frustrated. Sam refused to talk about anything that morning, and bottling things like this up never ended well- Sam himself had taught him that when he suggested the Cher song for regionals last year. Well, it was time for Blaine to return the favor.

"Sam, I want to say something," he said as they were lounging around and watching TV.

"Dude, come on. I already said I don't want to talk about it," Sam grumbled.

"Sam, you look exhausted, there's bags under your eyes. You've been stressed and not acting like yourself. You were kicked out of your home and kept it a secret for- wait, how long have you been in the motel?" Blaine asked.

"Three weeks," Sam mumbled reluctantly.

"Three weeks?! You kept this hidden for three weeks, and you really don't think you need to talk about it?" Blaine asked incredulously.

"It's not like talking is going to fix anything, Blaine!" he snapped, but added quickly, "Sorry," and looked at the ground.

"It's ok, Sammy."

"I'm just exhausted, man. I got a job delivering pizzas to try and help out my parents. That's the only reason Rachel knows- I delivered one to her house one night." He took a deep breath and put his head in his hands, trying to hold himself together. "I've never felt as humiliated as I did yesterday." His voice was muffled against his hands.

Blaine sat next to him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, almost in tears seeing Sam look so defeated. "Its ok, Sammy. You don't need to be embarrassed. You know the whole glee club's here for you," he said. When Sam didn't respond Blaine was suddenly struck with an idea. "And, as a very wise friend of mine once taught me, you'd be surprised at what music could do." Blaine grabbed his iPod and hooked it up to the sound system. "This is for you," he smiled at Sam and began to dance as the music started.

 _Sometimes in our life, we all have pain_

 _We all have sorrow_

 _But, if we are wise_

 _We know that there's always tomorrow_

 _Lean on me, when you're not strong_

 _I'll be your friend_

 _I'll help you carry on_

 _For it won't be long_

' _Til I need somebody to lean on_

Blaine sat next to Sam and put his arm around him, swaying with the song:

 _Please, swallow your pride_

 _If I have things you need to borrow_

 _For no one can fill_

 _Those of your needs_

 _That you don't let show_

 _You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand_

 _We all need somebody to lean on_

 _I just might have a problem that you'll understand_

 _We all need somebody to lean on_

Sam started singing the next part. Blaine smiled in encouragement and yanked him up so he would dance.

 _Lean on me, when you're not strong_

 _I'll be your friend_

 _I'll help you carry on_

 _For it won't be long, 'Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on_

 _You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand_

 _We all need somebody to lean on_

 _I just might have a problem, that you'll understand_

 _We all need somebody to lean on_

Blaine took over for the bridge:

 _If there is a load_

 _You have to bear_

 _That you can't carry_

 _I'm right up the road_

 _I'll share your load_

 _If you just call me_

(Both) _call me if you need a friend_

 _Call me, call me uh-huh_

 _Call me when you need a friend_

 _Call me if you ever need a friend_

 _Call me (Call me)_ (x8)

Sam caught Blaine in a tight hug when the song ended, making him breathless as his body reacted to the closeness. But then he realized that Sam was softly crying and his heart ached for him. It didn't just ache, it _hurt,_ as if he was trying to absorb every ounce of Sam's pain. Blaine hugged him tighter. "Everything's going to be ok," he whispered. He didn't know how, but he would make sure of it.

"I don't know, man," Sam sniffed and sat back on the couch. "Both my parents are working minimum wage jobs and it only covers the motel and food, barely even clothes…" Sam trailed off.

Blaine could see he was trying to hold back from crying more. "It's ok to be scared," he said.

"I'm not scared for me, dude! I'm scared for my brother and sister," Sam choked when he mentioned his siblings. Blaine was tearing up now. He instinctively grabbed Sam's hand and squeezed it, wishing there was something he could do to help. Sam squeezed back and continued: "They've already had to deal with a crappy Thanksgiving, and now they're going to have a bad Christmas. It's like no matter how many stupid pizzas I deliver, I never have enough money left to buy them presents. Or my parents. And they all deserve so much more."

"So do you," Blaine said softly. Sam made a sound that was a mix of a laugh and a sob. Blaine's insides turned to jelly when, after Sam calmed down a little, he stroked Blaine's hand- just a light touch, the tip of his thumb like a feather against the back of his hand. Blaine's breath caught in his throat and it felt like his hand was on fire. He slowly and very tentatively returned the gesture. Their eyes met, and suddenly Blaine snapped out of his trance and hastily took his hand away. What was he doing? He almost ruined his carefully constructed act of _not_ liking him.

"You don't have to worry about Stevie and Stacey," Blaine said a little too loudly, desperate to make it as if that weird hand thing didn't just happen. "I, and the entire glee club, will make sure their Christmas is awesome." Blaine promised.

Sam looked at him questioningly. "How?"

"We'll figure it out after sectionals next weekend," Blaine said. "I promise."

Sam grabbed him for another hug (unintentionally driving Blaine's stomach crazy and making the blood pound in his ears) and exclaimed, You're the best! Thank you!" He sounded a little more like his energetic self.

"Of course," Blaine replied, smiling in satisfaction. Yes! He had made Sam feel better, which had been his only goal today.

Xxxxx

December 21st

Sam's parents looked absolutely torn between staying in the motel for Christmas or sacrificing their pride and taking up the Andersons' offer. Blaine, Sam, and his brother and sister were sitting around Blaine's dining room table, still as statues, waiting in unbearable suspense for Sam's parents to decide. Blaine felt irrationally giddy at the prospect of Sam living with them for a while. He's the one that brought up the idea to his parents. After all they had three guest bedrooms that were never used, and this way Stevie and Stacey could have a normal Christmas, just like Sam wanted. The Andersons even had the little ones over the week before to help decorate their Christmas tree; they were thrilled.

After what felt like an eternity, Mr. And Mrs. Evans finally agreed, but only on the condition that they pay for their own food, water, and heat. They promised to be out by the end of February at the latest. Blaine internally did a victorious somersault. Yes! His best friend living with him at Christmas time? It was going to be a blast. Sam looked at him from across the table and gave a thumbs up.

"Ok, well I'm going to volunteer. I'll be ringing the Salvation Army bell outside the movie theater," Sam said.

"In this weather?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"I'll put on a lot of layers, and I'll take breaks," Sam whined, bouncing up and down like an eight-year old begging to go to a birthday party.

His mom sighed. "Fine, sweetie. I know there's no stopping you, anyway." She gave him the classic, stern mom look, but underneath Blaine could see the warm glow of pride in her eyes at having a son who would brave the cold weather to help others in need, even though he was in need himself. Blaine couldn't help but agree. Sam was pretty amazing that way.

"Yes!" Sam turned to Blaine. "You want to come with?" he asked excitedly.

Blaine decided to steal the catch phrase of one of his favorite substitute teachers as a response. "I thought you'd never ask," he smiled.

Xxxxx

March 10th

Blaine was in a very good mood when he walked into school on Monday. In fact he felt like he was floating on air. The New Directions had won Regionals the previous Saturday, and Blaine had a long heart-to-heart with Cooper recently and was glad to see that there had actually been improvement between them since. So Blaine felt great, but only until before fourth period, when he saw Sam and Mercedes kissing by her locker.

"When did _that_ happen?" Blaine asked Kurt, trying to sound casually curious (He and Kurt were doing well, still good friends despite the awkwardness almost a year before).

"Apparently after we won Regionals," Kurt guessed. "Cute couple, don't you think?"

Blaine attempted to agree convincingly. "Yeah, yeah. They look… Good together," he said, the words making the green monster inside him writhe and awaken with fresh jealousy. He knew it was ridiculous- Sam was his best friend and straight; of course Blaine should expect him to have girlfriends, but it irritated him to no end to see him with Mercedes.

"So did you finish this essay for English? I put it off until last night," Kurt said.

"Yeah," Blaine said vaguely with one last glance at the new couple. He was way too upset about this. He told himself to get over it. He and Sam were friends and that's all they would ever be. He couldn't let every one of Sam's relationships affect him this way. After too long of a pause Blaine continued, "Yeah, I crammed it in the day before Regionals."

"Ah, smart," Kurt said.

Needless to say Blaine's euphoric mood pretty much dissipated after that.

Xxxxx

April 29th

"Congratulations, Mr. Evans!" Blaine exclaimed.

"You can call me Steven, Blaine. We've lived with you for four months," Sam's dad replied, then quickly turned to Blaine's parents, "I'm so sorry it had to be this long-"

Mom shook her head emphatically, "No, no, none of that! You got your job in February, of course it would take some time to save for a deposit."

"You'll never know how grateful I am," Mr. Evans- no, Steven- mumbled. Blaine could see how hard it had been on him especially to swallow his pride and accept the help. He had landed a pretty good job at a carpet contracting place, and today they were celebrating getting accepted for a loan and putting a deposit on a house. It was nothing big or fancy, but it was perfect, and more than they had expected.

The adults embraced and broke out a bottle of champagne, the room full of happy chatter. Sam was just beaming, mainly at his younger siblings because they were each going to have their own rooms for the first time ever. Blaine loved how deeply Sam cared for them. He gave him a hug and said, "I'm so happy for you guys!"

"I know! I feel like I'm going to explode with relief!" Sam was almost in tears as he let out a breathy laugh.

Blaine smiled warmly up at him in adoration, and suddenly he froze, overtaken with a random and very powerful urge to kiss him. Dammit! He really tried to stop those thoughts, but it was proving impossible. He quickly stepped back and went to grab a soda. "Do you want one?" he asked, avoiding eye contact at the risk of getting lost in that clear blue abyss and doing something stupid.

"No, thanks," Sam said. A small silence followed in which Blaine awkwardly cracked open his soda and took a few sips.

"So are you nervous about your dance number at Nationals?" Sam asked, stepping toward him again. Blaine hurriedly tried backing up but, being as flustered as he was, knocked into the dining room table and spilt his mom's champagne.

"Oh, sorry, Mom!" Blaine tried laughing it off, but Sam looked at him with an odd expression. Crap! Blaine had finally done it, he let himself slip and Sam had noticed. _Oh God, play it cool!_

"Yeah I'm kind of nervous. The choreography is killer. Mike, Brittany, and I have been rehearsing until nine almost every night."

"You guys will do great," he said with his usual optimistic attitude. Blaine smiled, thankful Sam didn't ask about his weird behavior.

Dad rose from the table and held up his glass. "Alright kids! We have a special announcement to make!" he said.

Everyone stopped talking except Stacey, who was clapping and saying, "Ooh, what? What is it, what is it?"

"Well, as we all know, Steve has made it the sixty-day probation period for his new job and has been taken on full time-" the room filled with whoops and cheers for several moments- "But, after a lot of begging on my part, both to his boss _and_ him, they finally agreed that you all deserve a vacation after the hard times you've had." Dad dramatically whipped out an envelope, opened it annoyingly slowly, and took out four plane tickets.

"What are those?" Sam asked, eyes wide with disbelief. Blaine wanted to start dancing- he had a pretty good idea where this was going.

"Four tickets for your family to join us this summer," Dad explained. "Cooper has landed his first film- not a big part, but still. Your dad will start working full time at the beginning of August. So…" he did a drum roll with his hands on the table. "We're all going to Hollywood!"

The four kids erupted with excitement. Blaine had to laugh at the shocked expression on Sam's face. His jaw dropped, he looked at Blaine and enveloped him in a hug so tight he had to tap Sam's back to let him know he couldn't breathe.

"Oh. Sorry," Sam laughed.

Blaine went and hugged his parents, "Thank you so much. Thank you thank you thank you!" he bounced.

"You're welcome, son. You sure know how to choose good friends," Dad smiled. Blaine agreed: Sam was one hell of a friend.

After hugging the rest of the Evans family he made his way back to Sam, who gave him a victorious high five, any residual awkwardness from the minute before forgotten. Blaine didn't think he had ever seen his best friend look so happy.


	5. Love, Actually- Part 1

**Thanks for the reviews! That is all. Now enjoy :)**

Chapter 4: Love, Actually- Part 1

Junior Year- 2nd week of school.

September 2nd

It was as if Blaine had returned from California to some bizarre parallel universe, because that was the only explanation for the sight before him: Kurt Hummel and David Karofsky, sitting across from him at the Lima Bean, smiling and holding hands.

"I know, it's scandalous, isn't it?" Kurt asked playfully as he took in Blaine's reaction.

Karofsky chuckled. "You got that right."

"I don't-what-?" Blaine sputtered. "But… _How?_ "

They both laughed before Kurt began, "Well, I ran into him over the summer, and he was being his usual antagonizing self-"

"I was being an asshole," Karofsky provided helpfully.

"Yeah," Kurt confirmed. "And then he did this weird hate-kiss thing, then sent me anonymous love notes shortly after that. He revealed who he was and we talked and... Now we're here." Kurt shrugged as if this all made the slightest bit of sense. Blaine sat frozen, mouth agape as he tried to process this bit of news.

"Look, Blaine. I'm really sorry for what I put you and Kurt through," Dave said, looking genuinely sincere. Ok, was this a joke? Did Kurt turn into a bully's accomplice over the summer?

Karofsky continued, "Somehow Kurt found it in his heart to forgive me-"

"You've more than made up for it!" Kurt patted his hand lovingly (weird!).

"Not really," Dave said. "Anyway, I really hope you can forgive me, too. In fact-" he whistled at the barista and waved her over, a mysterious gleam in his eyes. The barista handed Blaine and Kurt each a large, cold cup. Blaine looked down and saw it was a red slushie. What the…

"You each get a free shot at me. It's the least I deserve," Karofsky explained.

"What?" Kurt went wide-eyed. "I'm not doing that, David. That's insane."

"Yes you are. Blaine is up for it, right Blaine?" Dave looked at him for confirmation.

Blaine had no idea what to say. He was still trying to make sense of the last five minutes. "Um…"

"That's a yes!" Dave yelled and pointed at Kurt. "You're doing it."

"Are you serious right now?" Kurt asked. "Right here, in the middle of the Lima Bean?"

"Yes! Seriously dude, don't you want some payback?" Dave challenged him with raised eyebrows, obviously aware that Kurt never backed down from a challenge. Blaine laughed at their playful banter. They were kind of cute together, he supposed.

"Ok, you're on," Kurt stood up. "Blaine, get up. Its time for revenge."

Blaine obeyed, a little ashamed to admit to himself that the petty part of him was looking forward to this. "Alright, on the count of three," Blaine said with childish anticipation. "One, Two, Three!" they said together and thrust their cups forward. Dave jumped from his seat as he absorbed the shock of the cold and, after sharing a good laugh, Blaine and Kurt escorted him to the bathroom.

"Ow, my eyes!" Karofsky rubbed at them frantically. "I am so sorry I ever did this to you!" He turned on the faucet and splashed water on his face.

Blaine laughed sympathetically, "I think you can be forgiven."

Kurt got some paper towels to help dry him off. "That was very nice of you, my good sir," he commended in a diplomatic tone.

Dave laughed. "Any time." He finished washing up and changed his clothes, and they all headed to school.

"So, Blaine, did you ever text that hottie from Dalton that gave you his number last week?" Kurt asked.

"Sebastian? No way. He was arrogant and I couldn't stand him," Blaine said, repulsed by the very memory.

"I have a feeling that even if he was the nicest person in the world you still wouldn't text him," Kurt said.

"You don't know that," Blaine defended. "Why would you say that?"

"Because he's not Samuel Evans," Kurt said as if it was obvious.

Blaine stopped in his tracks. "That's not true."

Karofsky chimed in, "Oh my God, Kurt, you were right. He's totally smitten!"

"What can I say? I'm good at this," Kurt batted his eyelashes.

"No, I'm not!" Blaine denied vehemently, irritated at how they were talking about him like he wasn't even there.

"Calm down, Blaine," Kurt said. "We're not going to tell anybody. But can I give you some advice on the matter?" Blaine stayed silent and kept his eyes on the ground, so Kurt took that as an invitation to continue: "You need to be realistic, and move on before you get hurt. Now I'm not saying you need to go date someone tomorrow, but I _am_ saying that you need to open your mind and expand your options."

"I don't like Sam."

"No, you don't," Kurt said sympathetically. "You love him."

Blaine flushed and looked away, his silence basically an admission of guilt. When did he let his guard down so much that he fell in _love_ with Sam? He tried so hard not to, it was freaking exhausting! And all for nothing? He left Kurt and Dave and started to head to class, but felt nauseous at the thought of facing Sam after his little epiphany.

Sam and him had spent every day together in California. It was like they were in their own little world. It was the happiest Blaine had ever been, but now that school had started and Sam began dating Brittany (Mercedes broke up with him over the summer, so he got with Brittany the first day of school. Blaine would swear that sometimes Sam only dated because he was bored), Blaine was finding it really annoying to be around them. Not just annoying, it almost _hurt_ to see Sam with her; that probably should have been his first clue that he harbored more than a crush, now that he thought about it... Ok, he needed to leave.

He turned around and walked out of the building. He hastily got in his car and tossed his backpack on the passenger floor when his phone vibrated. Blaine's stomach churned. He knew it was Sam wondering where he was. He quickly text that he wasn't feeling good and was going home before starting the car and speeding out of the parking lot.

Xxxx

4:07 P.M: 'Hey bro how u feeling?'

5:30 P.M: 'Hello? Amigo?'

7:16 P.M. 'Blaine r u ok?'

7:32 P.M: 'I'm worried please answer'

8:45 P.M: 'Dude if u don't answer I'm coming over!'

Blaine sighed as he lay on his bed with his arm over his eyes. He needed to clear his head, and Sam texting every hour was not helping. He guiltily typed a vague reply: 'I'm fine Sammy stop worrying. See you tomorrow.'

'Ok. Hope u feel better '

Blaine hated that he felt all fuzzy inside over a stupid text.

Xxxxx

September 25th

 _They got back to the hotel after going on a morning run. After showering and putting on a nice outfit for the day, Blaine walked out of the bathroom to the sight of Sam holding something behind his back and bouncing excitedly, eyes alight with child-like anticipation. "Ok,_ _no time to waste. Come here and close your eyes!" He said._

 _Blaine laughed. "It's 8 in the morning. There's plenty of time."_

 _"Fine, I'm just excited. Now get over here and close your eyes!"_

 _Blaine stood square in front of him and closed his eyes with exaggerated impatience. "I'm waiting..."_

 _"Ok, ok! One... Two... Three... Happy birthday!" He shouted._

 _Blaine opened his eyes to the coolest poster he had ever seen. His jaw dropped in awe as he gingerly held the heavy frame. "You drew this?!"_

 _"Yeah. I mean, there are a couple of mistakes, and the proportions on Blonde Chameleon are a little off, but-"_

 _"It's amazing!" Blaine interrupted, a goofy grin spreading across his face as he continued to look at it. In front of him were comic book versions of their superhero identities, Night Bird and Blond Chameleon, wearing comically huge boxing gloves, with Deadpool and Wolverine standing behind them. Surrounding them were tiny, colorful music notes against a black background. On closer inspection Blaine saw that along with the notes were song lyrics from Blaine's song at Regionals freshmen year, and the lyrics to the song he sang for Sam, 'Lean on Me.' A_ _s he saw all of the details he was rendered speechless at the amount of thought and time that this must have taken. This was hands down the best present ever._

 _"So you like it?" Sam asked eagerly when Blaine didn't say anything else._

 _"I freaking love it!" Blaine set it down carefully against the wall and for once he was the one to catch Sam off guard with a huge bear hug. Sam laughed in surprise, but recovered quickly and spun him in the air. Blaine stumbled when his feet were back on the ground. They both laughed loudly as Sam grabbed his shoulders to steady him._

 _"Thank you for my present," Blaine said breathlessly when he got his footing._

 _"You're welcome." They stood there catching their breath, and Blaine realized how close they were to each other. They were four inches apart, at the most. The fresh smell of Sam's shower gel seeped teasingly through his nostrils. It would be so easy just to lean those few small inches... Blaine quickly stepped back, coming to his senses, and was suddenly overwhelmed with a powerful urge to cry but could not pinpoint the exact reason._

 _He cleared his throat. "We have to get ready to go to breakfast."_

Blaine jerked awake and looked around, dazed. The dream/memory was so vivid it took him a moment to remember where he was in the present. Ohio, safe in his bedroom. As he sighed and sat up he felt tears creeping down his cheeks. He angrily wiped them away, and then it hit him like a freight train: It was on that day, that _moment_ on his 17th birthday, that Blaine had irreversibly, beyond a shadow of a doubt, fallen in love with Sam Evans.

Kurt said he needed to move on and be realistic. As much as it hurt (and that was tremendously) Blaine knew he was right.

Xxxxx

October 7th

"You did what?" Kurt asked with wide eyes.

"I asked Sebastian out," Blaine said again. After the last month of being miserable around Sam and Brittany, he decided that enough was enough and that moving on was necessary for his sanity at this point.

"Why?" Kurt asked critically.

"You're the one that said I should expand my options," he argued, confused by Kurt's reaction.

"But you said you didn't like him. And if you recall I also said you don't need to date someone right away, so find someone you actually _like_ first."

"Maybe I misjudged him. There's nothing wrong with being confident." He felt like he was trying to convince himself more than Kurt.

Kurt conceded with a sigh. "Ok. I get it. Just... be careful."

"Of course I will."

Karofsky walked up to them and handed Kurt a coffee.

"Well, thank you!" Kurt said cheerfully and Karofsky smiled. Blaine didn't think seeing them together would ever stop being strange.

"Good morning, guys," Sam's voice came from behind, causing Blaine to flinch as he spun around.

"Hey, Sam," he said a little breathlessly. _Act normal, act normal, act normal,_ Blaine chanted to himself.

Kurt grabbed Dave's arm and said, "Well, we better get going. See you guys later."

"Later!" Sam called after them and turned to Blaine, "Dude, I heard Mr. Shue tell Rachel that we're doing duets this week. Classic rock hits. You in?"

 _Sound normal, sound normal, sound normal…_ Just then Blaine realized why it felt like something was missing this morning. "What about Brittany?" He wondered.

Sam's eyes flit about the hallway nervously. "She broke up with me, like just now," he said to the ground. Well, that was faster than expected, Blaine thought.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. How come?"

Sam rubbed the back of his neck, keeping his eyes down. "She didn't really say... Anyway, are you down for the duet?"

"Of course."

Blaine wondered why he seemed so edgy. Did the break-up with a girl he dated for a month really upset him that much?

They walked into class and sat down. Sam still seemed distracted, like he was thinking really hard about something, his leg shaking restlessly as he got out his notebook.

"Are you ok, Sam?" Blaine studied him. Sam seemed to be so deep in his thoughts that he didn't hear him. "Sam?"

"What?" he asked, dazed.

"What's the matter with you?"

He looked at Blaine and furrowed his eyebrows like he was debating on whether or not to say. "Nothing. It's nothing," he cleared his throat. "We should go see a movie on Friday, or go bowling or something."

Crap! Why did he have to say Friday? "I'm actually busy Friday night," Blaine said apologetically. He would rather hang out with Sam over Sebastian any day, but that was the problem, wasn't it?

"What are you doing?" Sam asked.

Dam. Might as well tell him. "I have a… a date," the word sounded weird coming out of Blaine's mouth.

Sam's eyes went wide. "With who?"

"Sebastian Smyth, from Dalton," Blaine slowly looked up to gouge his reaction.

Sam just stared at him for a moment- it sort of felt like he was trying to read Blaine's mind- then said dryly, "I thought you said he was an ass."

"Maybe I'm wrong about him," Blaine repeated his words from earlier. "We're going to that bar Scandals. Should be interesting," he shrugged.

"Yeah, interesting," Sam said so lowly Blaine didn't think he meant for him to hear. The teacher started class, and Blaine noticed Sam's leg go back to its restless bounce. What was wrong with him today? And what exactly happened with Brittany?

Xxxx

November 11th

It was dumb to let the words of an arrogant jerk like Sebastian Smyth get to him. Blaine knew that, but he couldn't help but feel a little hurt, or at least pissed. They had gone out five times and Blaine had had fun. If anything Sebastian knew how to have a good time. Yesterday, they finally went somewhere other than Scandals, like an official date. They were making out in Sebastian's car afterward (he was a really good kisser) when he tried unbuttoning Blaine's pants.

"Wait," Blaine said breathlessly.

"It's ok," Sebastian said in a soothing tone and tried taking off Blaine's shirt.

"Stop," he pushed him away. Blaine was not ready to do _that._ They had only been together a month, if what they had could even be considered 'together.'

Sebastian scoffed and started his car. "I better get going," he said shortly.

"Are you serious?" Blaine couldn't believe he was being so snappy just because he wouldn't take his pants off.

"Look, next time you want to go out don't waste my time."

Blaine froze as if he had just been slapped in the face. "I thought we were having a good time," he said quietly.

"It was a good time at first. I even stuck it out this long because you're super hot, but enough is enough. I'm the kind of guy that wants to have fun, and you- well, at least you're attractive," Sebastian smirked.

 _What_ did he just say?! Not able to think of a more appropriate response, Blaine just huffed "Fuck you, Sebastian!" and got out of the car. He slammed the door and went inside, not looking back.

Blaine replayed the scene in his head as he sat in his last class doodling on his notebook. He was so distracted he didn't even notice that class was dismissed until Sam snapped his fingers in front of his face.

"Earth to Blaine!"

"Sorry," Blaine said and got up quickly, not realizing his backpack wasn't zipped and causing all of the contents to spill. Just perfect. Blaine sighed in frustration and bent down to pick it up.

"Dude, what's the matter with you today?" Sam asked as he leaned down to help.

"I'm fine. Let's go to glee," Blaine mumbled and started to leave, but Sam grabbed him by his wrist and pulled him back.

He looked right into Blaine's eyes and said, " You're lying."

"I don't want to talk about it." Blaine ripped his arm away and started making his way to the choir room. The last thing he wanted to do was admit to Sam how dumb he was, thinking Sebastian actually liked _him_ and not just his body. How naïve was he?

Sam caught up with him and asked slowly, "Was it Sebastian?"

Blaine stopped and sighed in defeat. Sam could always read him like an open book. "Yeah."

"What happened?"

"He got all mad because I wouldn't put out, and basically said it's lucky I'm good-looking because I have nothing else 'fun' to offer," Blaine said monotonously. Saying it out loud made it sting more.

"What a dick! You're the most fun person I know! Do you want Blond Chameleon to go kick some ass?" Sam asked, way too excited at the idea.

Blaine chuckled. "No. Blond Chameleon just needs to stop Night Bird from ever dating another selfish jackass."

"Blond Chameleon can do both!" Sam punched and kicked the air to show his ninja skills, complete with a perfect impression of Donatello, Blaine's favorite ninja turtle. They both laughed and went into the choir room. Sam had cheered him up, like always, and Blaine was no closer to moving on than he was before the Sebastian fiasco.

Xxxx

November 30th- Sectionals

"Of course we won. We're the reigning national champions ya'll!" Artie victoriously pumped his fist in the air. Everyone cheered except Blaine, who was too busy eavesdropping on Sebastian and the Warblers. Sebastian had been messing with him all night. It started with cocky smirking, but then he would nudge one of his teammates, whisper, and they would pointedly laugh at him. Blaine would just look away with a neutral expression, but now that they were merely five feet away from each other in the parking lot and Blaine could hear him, Sebastian didn't hold back: "Looking at him now, I don't know what I saw in him. He's short, boring, and obviously a virgin." They all laughed heartily before he continued, "I mean, how did I put up with _that_ for a month?"

Blaine's blood burned with anger. He clenched his fists and kept walking, but Sebastian didn't let up. "I guess I did it because I felt sorry for him. He's kind of pathetic."

Blaine spun around with the intent of yelling incoherently, but before he could get one curse word out Sam had stomped over to Sebastian and, without a word, punched him square in the face. Sebastian fell to his knees with his hand over his now bloodied nose.

"Man, you really like the sound of your own voice," Sam huffed as he walked away. Blaine let out a shocked laugh and then covered his mouth to stop more from coming. Everyone turned around and gasped, open-mouthed, at the scene taking place. Sam then casually came back, put his arm around Blaine and strode away, saying, "Come on everyone, let's go celebrate!"

Xxxx

The New Directions went to Breadstix, their go-to venue for pretty much everything. Everyone was reliving the glorious moment that Sam got some justice. Sebastian had not only been a jerk to Blaine- a couple weeks ago there was a sing-off because both the New Directions and The Warblers wanted to do Michael Jackson at sectionals, and at the end of the number Sebastian threw a slushie in Kurt's face. This wouldn't have been so bad if the slushie hadn't been laced with rock salt that damaged Kurt's eye, resulting in a miner surgery. Although Kurt was still recovering, he insisted on performing at sectionals, eye patch and all, and his solo is probably what won them the competition.

"Awesome job, Kurt!" Sam exclaimed and raised his glass. Everyone whooped and started to sing Kurt's solo, 'Secrets' by Mary Lambert, but Kurt interrupted: "I think we need to make a toast to the hero of the hour, Sam Evans!" Everyone clapped louder, but none as loud as Blaine, who was wearing an ear-to-ear grin as he thought about Sebastian's bloody nose. Sam joined in the cheering and laughed maniacally.

Suddenly Blaine's stomach dropped as a depressing thought hit him: Sebastian was right. He _was_ pathetic. He came to McKinley an anxious and paranoid shell of a person, and stuck like glue to the person who helped him, longing for him and knowing it would never happen. How else would someone describe a person like that but, in fact, pathetic?

Sam came and sat next to him and automatically noticed Blaine's change of mood in that psychic way he had. "What's up?" he asked with a concerned expression.

"It's nothing," Blaine smiled. He didn't want to ruin the good night they were having.

Blaine knew what Sam was going to say before he even opened his mouth, and sure enough: "You're lying," he said in that tone he always used. It was never accusing; it was just stating a blatant, simple truth, and he was always right on point.

"No I'm not." He sipped his drink and went to sit with Kurt and Dave, but, judging by the look on Sam's face, Blaine knew he wasn't going to let it go. It was times like this that Blaine was annoyed at how well Sam knew him.

Xxxx

Blaine put his car in park in front of the Evans house. "Good night, Sammy. I'll see you on Monday."

Once again Sam threw him off guard with his randomness when he said, "Don't take a dickhead like Sebastian seriously, dude. You're awesome."

Blaine rolled his eyes. " _Honestly,_ can you read minds?"

Sam laughed. "Only yours."

Blaine smiled and looked down at the steering wheel. After a pause he said, "I used to feel that way about myself, every minute of every day."

"What?" Sam cocked his head, confused.

"I knew in my heart I was a pathetic loser when I came here, but then I met- met everyone in glee club." Blaine almost said 'met you' but thought it would be weird. "Tonight I realized that I'm still exactly the same. I'm still awkward, still crazy, still just…" Blaine struggled to express exactly what he was feeling.

"Pathetic?" Sam asked sarcastically. Keeping his gaze down Blaine nodded as the reality of that really sunk in. He suddenly viewed himself as some sort of lost puppy, attached to Sam's hip like the cowardly child he was.

Blaine snapped his head up as Sam grabbed his hand, the warm contact sending flutters through his gut.

"You're the complete opposite, you know," Sam said sincerely. "You're like, the strongest and coolest person I've ever met."

Blaine was glad it was dark because he was pretty sure his face went a dark shade of magenta. He didn't know what to say. He looked down again as his whole body tensed with excitement.

Suddenly Sam's other hand was on his cheek, forcing him to look up. "You're amazing," he said softly.

Blaine felt like he was going to explode. What was happening right now? Was he dreaming? It wouldn't be the first time he dreamt about this kind of thing... if so, it turned into a terrible nightmare when Blaine's phone rang, causing both of them to jump, and his mother's teary, breathy voice on the other end choked, "Blaine! Your dad, he…" She trailed off.

"Mom, what's going on?" Blaine started to panic.

"Your dad is in the hospital-"

"What? What happened?" Blaine interrupted loudly. Sam flinched in alarm.

"Just come to the hospital. Cooper's already on his way," she cried.

"But dad…" Blaine said hoarsely.

"He's ok, for now. Just come, ok sweetie?" She hung up. Blaine stared at his phone in shock.

"Dude, what's going on?" Sam asked. When Blaine didn't respond he shook his shoulder. "Blaine! Talk to me."

Blaine felt like he wasn't inside his own body. He slowly looked over at Sam's concerned face and whispered, "Can you drive to the hospital?"

Without question or hesitation Sam was out of the car and at his door. Blaine climbed over to the passenger seat. He felt numb all over- he didn't even realize that Sam held his hand the whole way there.


	6. Love, Actually- Part 2

Chapter 5: Love, Actually- Part 2

December 2nd

"Son, you need to go home and sleep. At some point I'll convince your mother to do the same." His dad smiled and looked over at his sleeping wife, who was curled up on the uncomfortable pull-out sofa, dozing in and out of an unrestful sleep.

Blaine squeezed his hand. "You shouldn't be here by yourself, dad. Hospitals suck, and you've been here for two days already."

Dad wheezed a little as he laughed. "The nurses are here every ten minutes. I get to lay around and get lots of attention, and the best part: my food is served to me," he winked. Blaine chuckled, but at the same time felt like he wanted to cry. Two days ago, while Blaine was at Sectionals, his dad had collapsed on the bathroom floor after vomiting- he had been sick for a couple weeks prior, but everyone figured it was just a stomach bug that was going around, or the flu, at the very worst...

No one expected the doctors to walk in with the test results and say he had stage two stomach cancer. Blaine felt like his insides wouldn't stop shaking whenever he thought about it. He couldn't imagine life without his dad. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop those kind of thoughts.

"Blaine, go get some sleep. Tomorrow the specialist is coming to talk over our options. I'm ok right now, so let's all try to relax until we know what we're in for," he said. How could he be so calm about this? Isn't he falling apart, too? Didn't he feel an empty, black dread in his body like Blaine did?

"I'm not leaving," Blaine insisted. He didn't want his dad out of his sight. Yes, he may have been acting irrationally, but he was exhausted at this point, probably even a little delirious. " _You_ should be the one resting, not trying to stay up for a football game."

Dad waved his arm in dismissal. "Hey, nothing will get in the way of me and my Cowboys," he said sternly.

"Always a Texas boy at heart," Blaine said warmly.

"That's right!" he exclaimed. Blaine shook his head. Some men and their sports… He liked them well enough but he wasn't as passionate about them as his dad. Sometimes Blaine thought it bummed Dad out that neither of his sons were big sports fans. Suddenly a memory of Dad trying to convince his five-year-old self to play basketball flashed through his mind. His chest felt constricted as the weight of the situation hit him- losing the man in front of him was a definite possibility in this new and twisted reality. It could happen relatively soon, and now Blaine deeply regretted not just humoring his dad and shooting hoops with him that day.

Blaine leaned over to rest his head on Dad's arm. He was aching from sitting there for so long, so it felt nice when his dad started rubbing his back like he used to when Blaine was little. He sighed and tried to pull himself together, but stayed laying there, the repetitive, familiar motion on his back a slight comfort. After a few minutes of silence Dad said in a hushed tone, "Is Sam coming back here after school today? Maybe _he_ can convince you to go home."

"Yeah, he probably will," Blaine said sourly.

"Is everything ok with you two?" Dad asked. Blaine just shrugged and shut his eyes. He didn't want to talk about Sam. He didn't even want to see him. Dealing with his feelings for Sam was the last thing he needed right now, but Sam had been right by his side since he got that call. Normally Blaine would be moved by this, but right now it just seemed really inconvenient and, ultimately, depressing. Then he felt guilty for feeling that way when Sam was just being a good friend.

"Are you mad at him?" Dad asked.

"Maybe… But I have no reason to be," he admitted, his voice muffled against the sheets. Dad remained quiet for a while, and Blaine was grateful, as usual, that he didn't pester him about things. So he was quite taken aback when Dad eventually asked, "Are you _ever_ going to tell him how you feel about him?"

Blaine bolted upright. "What?!"

Dad laughed as Blaine blushed and sputtered incoherent denials. "Calm down, son! Your mother and I have known for a year and we haven't told anyone," he assured.

"A year?!" Blaine squeaked. His brain was working slower than usual due to lack of sleep, so he sat there wide-eyed and open-mouthed with nothing to say. Was it that obvious?

"Parents know these things," Dad said wisely. "And we also know that ever since we came back from California this summer, it's been affecting you more and more."

"I can't tell him, and I don't want to talk about it," Blaine mumbled as he looked at the ground.

Dad patted his wrist and took a deep breath before he said, "I understand. I just want to say one thing, if that's alright."

Blaine sighed and finally looked up. "What is it?" he asked reluctantly.

"When you have feelings for someone, no matter who that someone is, it is unfair to keep them in the dark about it, especially if it's a good friend. Wouldn't you agree?" Dad cocked his eyebrow.

"I can't," Blaine repeated in a raspy voice. "What if he's creeped out, and it changes everything, forever? I can't just un-say that I love him-" Blaine stopped short. He had never said that out loud before, and it made the whole situation more painful, more hopeless. He leaned back down to rest his head.

"Sam is one of a kind," Dad said quietly.

 _You got that right,_ Blaine thought.

"He's a great friend to you. He accepts you for everything you are, and after almost two years of a friendship like you two have, do you _really_ think Sam would let something like this separate the dynamic duo?"

He tried to believe him; tried to believe that, even if the truth came to light, Sam and him would remain as they were- the 'dynamic duo,' as Dad said. Sadly, he didn't believe it one bit.

Blaine sat up and stretched as he let out a big yawn. He glanced at the clock. It was 4:40, meaning Sam could be here any minute.

"Ok, you win," he said, suddenly anxious at the prospect of seeing Sam. "I'll go home and sleep, but, if I'm not here already, call me the minute the specialist shows up tomorrow."

"Sir, yes, Sir!" Dad laughed and gave him a farewell salute. Blaine rolled his eyes in exasperation, not noticing that someone was walking in and colliding into them full force.

"Oh, sorry-" He froze when he saw that it was Sam.

"All good, bro. So, any updates?" Sam asked.

"Not until tomorrow. I'm going home to get some sleep," Blaine said shortly. Perhaps it was the conversation he just had with his dad, or his exhausted state, or how annoyingly nice and clueless Sam was at that moment, but he was suddenly angry. How dare Sam come in here all concerned! It's not like it was _his_ dad's life on the line, and yet he comes in here all casually, making Blaine feel worse than he already was and not even realizing it. He would _never_ realize it, and that made Blaine even angrier.

"Wait, dude-" Sam grabbed his hand and tried to pull him back, but Blaine ripped it away roughly. He could feel tears stinging his eyes.

Without looking Sam in the face, he said bitterly, "Don't touch me! I said I'm _leaving!_ " and stormed out of the room.

Xxxxx

December 3rd

It was like Blaine had completely dissociated as the doctor started talking. He was looking down on the scene from above, only catching bits and pieces of what was being said. It almost felt dream-like, the room threatening to disappear into smoky colors as Blaine lost all grip on what was really happening.

"We can start with a partial gastrectomy. Basically we go in and remove what we can of the tumor. This is a major surgery that has some serious side effects: nausea, diarrhea, cramps… You'll only be able to eat small amounts of food at a time afterward. We want to get this done soon, before the cancer spreads to the outer stomach wall, in which case a _full_ gastrectomy would be necessary. After that, you can undergo radiation therapy in order to kill any remaining cancerous cells." The doctor paused and flipped through the papers on her clipboard. "Now, it seems your insurance should cover at least half of these costs, but you will not be obligated to pay until a year after the procedures. Do you feel like that's manageable? If not, there are some options we can explore-"

"The money doesn't matter," Mom said shakily.

Dad squeezed her hand. "And when will this surgery be?"

After more sounds of ruffling paper Dr. Paige replied, "We can do next Saturday, and then wait a few weeks to see how your body responds before proceeding with radiation."

The color drained from Mom's face at how soon all of this would be happening. She slightly regained her composure and asked in a strained voice: "And… How likely is it that this will work?"

"Well, luckily we found the cancer before it spread to other parts of the body. The five-year survival rate for stage two patients after treatment is about 65%."

Mom hunched over and took a few deep breaths. All Blaine could do was clumsily pat her shoulder in a vain attempt at comfort. He looked over at his dad like he was seeing him for the first time, examining every part of him to make sure he was still tangibly there with them.

"Is he well enough to come home until the surgery?" Mom asked weakly.

Dr. Paige smiled sympathetically. "Of course. He's been stable since yesterday. I'll just let the nurse know and she'll get you discharged."

"Thank you," Mom said, her voice barely audible. Her eyes suddenly went distant, and Blaine wondered if she felt the same as him, like she was having a nightmare-ish out-of-body experience.

"Do you have any other questions?" Dr. Paige asked kindly.

"No, thank you very much, doctor," Dad said. Dr. Paige shook their hands and smiled as she departed, and that was when mom lost it. Her frail-looking body trembled as she sobbed into her hands. Blaine immediately embraced her so that Dad didn't have to sit up.

"Everything will be ok, dear," Dad assured, rubbing his fingers through her hair.

"You don't know that," she said into Blaine's neck.

Blaine silently cursed Cooper- he had left the morning before, saying he had to go to work or he would break his contract, but Blaine knew he was running away, as usual, and he hated him for it. He should be here, helping him comfort Mom and support Dad, not hiding in his work across the country.

"Yes, I do," Dad said. Mom just shook her head and then no one spoke until the nurse came with the discharge instructions. The ride home was also quiet, the silence only broken by Mom's light sniffling. Blaine was all cried out and past the point of exhaustion, so he just rested his head back on the seat and closed his eyes, terrible thoughts swirling through his head that he couldn't escape. He wanted this nightmare to be over. Maybe he would wake up and they hadn't even won Sectionals yet- that morning Blaine's biggest worry had been to master the dance to "Set Fire to the Rain."

How trivial.

Xxxxx

They hadn't been home more than an hour when the entire Evans clan showed up and let themselves in, hands full of flowers, balloons, and food. Stevie and Stacey immediately ran up to Blaine and Mom and engulfed them in hugs.

"We're sorry, are you ok?" they kept saying, and then they each handed Dad a bouquet of flowers with 'Get Well Soon' cards. Blaine felt that warmth in his stomach that everyone feels when children, in their innocent and pure way, try to comfort them- kids may not fully understand the seriousness of a situation, but it's their first instinct to make everyone smile when they know something is wrong.

Sam gave his round of hugs, and Blaine could only look down guiltily when it was finally his turn. "Sam, I'm- I'm sorry about yesterday-" he stuttered.

"Hey," Sam interrupted softly, bending down to make Blaine look him in the eyes. "Don't worry about it. It's ok."

Blaine shook his head and looked away. "No, I shouldn't have- I mean, I don't know why-"

"Dude, stop talking," Sam laughed and hugged him tightly. "I understand, ok? Everything's cool."

Blaine did as he was told and relaxed into the familiar and comforting arms, leaning his head heavily on Sam's shoulder as the day's events weighed down on him. He was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open and, if Sam wasn't there, he was sure he wouldn't be able to hold his own body up.

"Thanks for coming over," Blaine mumbled sleepily after a moment. What he really meant was 'Thank you for being so amazing even after I was an asshole.'

He felt the chuckle rise in Sam's chest. "Of course. Um, do you want to go lay down, before you fall asleep standing up?"

Blaine pulled away. He mentally cursed himself- he couldn't put himself in these situations anymore. It only made him want Sam more. He hastily stepped back. "You're right. Back to school tomorrow," he grimaced. Without looking back at Sam he hugged everyone else, apologized for having to go so soon, and headed up to bed.

Without consciously realizing it, Blaine had started to build that wall again, the one that kept everyone out. He internally made the decision to start distancing himself from Sam, from everybody… He could feel himself receding into the dark cave he was in two years ago, where he carefully monitored everything he did, said, or even looked at.

As twisted as it was, Blaine welcomed this reunion with his cave. Things were a lot safer here.

Xxxx

January 17th

Blaine couldn't remember the last time he had gotten a good night's sleep. He tossed and turned in his bed for an hour before he heard his dad getting sick again. He was doing a little better, but Dr. Paige definitely wasn't lying about the recovery process. Dad had been in extreme pain since the surgery, and puking almost every day after the tiniest of meals. Of course when Dad starts feeling better he'll have to do radiation and go through all the misery again. Seeing him like that, and how it's affected Mom, made Blaine feel like he was drowning and couldn't move any of his limbs to get afloat.

He quickly got up and tread to his parents' bedroom. Not wanting Mom to have to get up (she had been getting even less sleep than him), Blaine grabbed the trash can from his dad to switch out the bag, refilled his cup with water, grabbed some crackers and set them on the bedside table.

"Thank you, son," he whispered feebly. Blaine smiled and leaned down to kiss his clammy forehead.

"Do you need anything else?" he asked as he absentmindedly covered his mom with a blanket. She smiled sleepily and then continued snoring.

"No. I'm sorry I woke you-"

"I wasn't sleeping," Blaine interrupted. "Don't apologize."

Dad chuckled and patted the space on the edge of the bed. Blaine obeyed and sat down, carefully leaning on Dad's shoulder.

"I'm not made of glass, you know," Dad said, squeezing him in a weak hug.

"Of course I know that. You're made of steel."

"And don't forget it!"

Blaine laughed. They sat quietly for a while, the only sound the gentle tinkling of the wind chimes on the balcony.

"How are things with you and Sam? He doesn't come over as much," Dad said casually.

That was a tough question. Sam came over every Saturday at ten, like clockwork, just to have Blaine stay virtually silent and bore him to death. Being the good friend he was, Sam never stopped trying, probably adhering Blaine's behavior to his dad's situation, not knowing that he was completely fading away into his cave, wanting to be invisible in the blackness again.

"Sam and I… haven't had time to hang out much," he said evasively.

"Mmm…" Dad acknowledged. "What about Tina or Kurt? You should go see them, get out of this house…"

Blaine didn't reply. It's true, he hadn't really talked to anyone lately. It just took too much energy to engage in normal conversation. It felt like he was on some kind of autopilot setting, just going through the motions of everyday life because he had no choice, when really his mind was constantly racing about Dad, Mom, Sam, how he had never disliked Cooper more- so much for the progress they had made- and how everything is different now, and it always would be. Because of this his grades had started slipping, but he found it really hard to care at this point. The only solace Blaine had was glee club- any energy he did manage to muster went there. The only time he escaped his thoughts was when he was singing at the top of his lungs.

A couple minutes of silence passed before Dad continued: "You need to tell Sam, son. It's eating you up, anyone can see that."

Blaine didn't answer.

"I'll tell you what. Just promise me that you'll tell him eventually, and I'll drop it," Dad proposed.

"Deal," Blaine smiled.

Dad started to cough profusely. Blaine sat up and, even in the dark, could see the pained look on his face, his mouth in a tight grimace as he struggled to catch his breath. Blaine handed him his water, feeling completely useless- an emotion he experienced nearly 24/7 nowadays, but it never got any easier.

Mom woke up again at the noise, startling awake with panicked eyes.

"It's alright, sweetheart. Go back to sleep," Dad said in a raspy voice. Mom squinted her eyes at them, not even fully conscious, nodded vaguely and collapsed back on the bed. Dad slowly ate one cracker and then took a pill for the pain. He gave a strained sigh as he sat back.

"I'll let you get some rest," Blaine said as he covered him with the blanket. He leaned in, kissed him on the forehead again, and was about to leave when Dad caught his wrist in a weak grip.

"Blaine, one more thing," he said quietly. "You can't push everyone away every time you're scared or hurt." Blaine looked down guiltily, already not wanting to hear any more. "Son, look at me." He reluctantly raised his head, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. "You'll lose the people you care about if you do that," Dad continued wearily. "Let people help you. Help yourself and keep living your life. You can't stop living because of me."

"So I'm supposed to just go out and pretend nothing is wrong? I'm supposed to just leave you guys to fend for yourselves like Cooper?" Blaine exclaimed.

"We understand why your brother left-" Blaine scoffed but Dad talked over him: "but that's not the point. What I'm saying is help yourself by making yourself happy."

Blaine nodded and squeezed Dad's hand. "You're right."

"I'm always right," he quipped, making Blaine chuckle. Dad heaved himself to the middle of the king-size bed and once again patted next to him. "Lay in here for a while," he said. Blaine could tell he was getting worn out, so he did as he was asked, and that night he finally got four straight hours of sleep- the most he'd gotten in weeks.

Xxxxx

February 8th

Blaine couldn't remember ever feeling as angry as he did right then, at the sight of his brother's smug face as he stood in front of the glee club giving the worst acting lessons Blaine had ever seen. Cooper had strut in not even ten minutes ago, no call or warning, acting like nothing had happened and everything was just peachy.

Blaine's face was flushed with anger as Cooper started 'teaching.' He bailed on Dad the second he could, had hardly talked to them since Christmas, and then just shows up without warning? All of these mad thoughts were spinning in Blaine's mind throughout the entire ridiculous lesson, so when Cooper wrapped up by thanking everyone for their support for him and his family during these hard times, he snapped.

"Hard times? How the hell would _you_ know?" Blaine asked scathingly. The room fell into a shocked silence.

"What?" Cooper asked, taken aback, but recovered himself and became defensive. "How dare you say that to me!"

Blaine jumped to his feet. "How dare _I?_ How dare you! _You_ haven't been here for the hard times, you son of a-"

"Blaine!" Mr. Shue interjected. "You need to calm down!"

Blaine shouted over him, hitting his breaking point. "You left. You don't get to say things like that! You haven't been there to see how hard it really is-"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Cooper yelled.

"Guys!" Mr. Shue tried again, to no avail.

"Oh, please! You've been off making a new crappy movie, having a hay day in Hollywood while-"

"Blaine, I swear, if you don't shut up _right now-"_

Blaine didn't let him finish. Before he knew what he was doing he had ran and tackled into Cooper full force, only getting one punch in before Sam wrapped his arms around him and heaved him off while Finn and Puck restrained Cooper.

"Sam, let me go," Blaine said as calmly as he could, grinding his teeth together. "I'm leaving."

Deciding it was safe after a moment, Sam let him go. He stomped over to pick up his backpack and then headed straight to the weight room. He needed to punch something, like, _now,_ so he yanked his boxing gloves on and hit the bag with all the force he had until he literally couldn't anymore. He collapsed on the ground, panting, his whole body sore. He had definitely overdone it- he felt like his chest was going to explode. Whether it was his physically exhausted state or his rage or the stress of the last two months, something made him break, and he suddenly started sobbing uncontrollably to the point of hyperventilating.

He was attempting to get up to get some water when Sam walked in- of course Sam would come find him, in this humiliating state.

"Blaine!" he exclaimed, worry apparent in his voice. As if he read Blaine's mind, as usual, Sam quickly went to the water dispenser and filled two foam cups. He managed to drink half of one but he couldn't get his breathing under control.

"Blaine, deep breaths, come on," he soothed. Blaine tried, but when Sam tried embracing him in a gesture of comfort he went rigid, his wall and mask going up instinctively. He didn't want to need his best friend so much; he was tired of this. Sam noticed his reaction and looked at him curiously, a hint of hurt in his eyes.

"I'll b-be fine, but th-thanks Sammy," Blaine breathed. Everything was spinning, he felt so confused and mad, and now guilty on top of it all. "I'm gonna g-go." He stumbled out the door without another word.

Xxxx

February 12th

The last thing Blaine expected to see when he came out of his room for dinner was Mr. Shue, Sam, and Cooper sitting at the dining room table with his parents. He froze in the doorway, waiting for an explanation and avoiding looking at his brother. Sam was shifting his eyes and fidgeting uncomfortably. Seriously, what was going on?

"Hi, Blaine. Come sit down. We all need to talk," Mr. Shue smiled.

"Ok…" Blaine sat stiffly next to Sam. Mom sighed and crossed her arms before Dad began to speak: "Mr. Schuester, and some other teachers, have informed us that your grades have been falling this semester."

"Ok…" he said again, not sure why there was some sort of family meeting just to lecture him about his grades.

"What do we need to do to ensure that you'll do better?" Dad asked calmly.

Blaine bowed his head in shame. He could sense Dad's disappointment in that deceivingly calm voice. "I'm sorry. I'll do better," he said sheepishly.

"We can get back to that later. There's more we want to talk about," Mom said after a tense moment. "Sam has come to both Mr. Schuester and us to say how worried he is about you, how different you've been acting."

Blaine whipped his head up to look at Sam, who was suddenly intently focused on the ceiling, tapping his foot nervously.

"You shouldn't get mad at Sam," Mr. Shue said quickly. "We've _all_ been worried. We just want to know if you're ok."

Blaine was at a loss for words. This was like the worst episode of 'Intervention' ever. He knew Sam only did this because he cared, but this was just downright awkward.

"And what's _he_ doing here?" Blaine nodded rudely to Cooper, who had been staring silently at his hands up to that point.

"You and your brother need to talk," Mom said sternly. "I will _not_ have my two sons fist fighting. Not now, when it's important that we stick together."

"Stick together?!" Blaine asked incredulously. "Maybe you should talk to _him_ about that. He's the one that bailed."

"That's not how it was," Cooper finally piped up angrily.

Blaine rolled his eyes and stood up. "I'm going back to my room."

"Sit. Down." The authority in Dad's voice was enough to make Blaine plop back down in one second. "Now," Dad continued, "You need to listen. Your brother has been working non-stop, taking any role he could get because we found out how much my treatments are going to cost. He agreed, without hesitation, to pay for all of it, and if he didn't leave when he did, he would have lost the highest-paying job he ever had."

It felt like Blaine had just been slapped in the face. He was basically the worst person ever. He slowly looked over to Cooper. "I'm sorry," he mumbled guiltily. Cooper nodded slightly. Only then did Blaine notice the circles under his eyes and how his face looked thinner, more gaunt.

"Ok, one more thing," Mr. Shue said. Oh, for the love of Cher, couldn't this damn meeting thing be over already?

"What is it?" Blaine asked.

"I have some pamphlets here- thanks to my lovely fiancé- with some resources that I think you all could benefit from. There's a list of therapists and groups that specialize in supporting cancer victims and their families." _Kill me now,_ Blaine thought. "A cancer diagnosis affects everyone, takes its toll on family members, and puts us under so much stress that sometimes we lose it, and it's ok to lose it once in a while, Blaine. But I think it's important that, when you do have those terrible days, you learn ways to cope and have a support network there for you, for all of you," Mr. Shue looked at Cooper and their parents. "Would you all be willing to give it a shot?"

Dammit. The last thing Blaine wanted was to sit in a circle and cry about his life, but in his heart he knew it was probably a good idea- he shouldn't feel so comfortable in his mental cave… He nodded reluctantly before asking, "So… Is this… _thing_ over? Can I go?"

"Yes," Mom said. "I hope you took this seriously."

"I did," Blaine promised.

Mom nodded in approval before saying, "There's pizza in the kitchen."

"Ok." He glanced at Sam a last time and gave him a small smile so that he knew Blaine wasn't mad at him. He grinned back in utter relief.

Blaine grabbed a piece of pizza, headed back to his room, and sat back on his bed with a tired sigh- well _that_ was interesting, to say the least.

Xxxxx

March 20th

Blaine felt terrible for how he had been acting toward everyone for the past few months, but no one more than Sam. He was trying to work on it. It was pretty slow-going, but Blaine decided to do the 'healthy' thing- according to the family therapist- and asked Sam to come with them today. It was time to hear the results of Dad's radiation therapy, and, as hard as it was, Blaine admitted to himself that he wasn't handling this upcoming appointment well. So who else would he ask for moral support than Sam, after apologizing profusely for his behavior lately, of course. He even bought him the Deadpool DVD to prove how much he meant it.

He was sure glad he made that decision, because Blaine went completely blank and very unsteady when Dr. Paige told them the results: "I'm very sorry, Mr. Anderson, but the radiation didn't work as well as we had hoped." Blaine's mouth went dry. "We were hoping to kill any remaining cancer cells, but some still remain." He leaned back on the wall. It was like the wind was knocked out of him. Mom put her head in her hands. "The good news is that they're not spreading. We do have some other options, but I'm afraid we don't have the technology you'll need here in Ohio." At this point Blaine felt like he was falling over he was so dizzy. Sam put his arm around his waist to support him. "There is a treatment center in Colorado, however, that can offer an advanced form of this radiation. Unfortunately there is a two months waiting list, but…" At that point Blaine stopped listening. Everything sounded muffled due to his heart pounding in his ears. Not even ten minutes ago he really thought there was a chance…

"Hey, come on," Sam's voice whispered in his ear as he gently tugged Blaine's hand. Blaine snapped back to reality to see that everyone else was already leaving the room; he must have zoned out longer than he realized. With numb, shaky legs he followed along. As with most car rides from the hospital, this one was quiet and tense, so he stayed in his weird dissociative state- if he didn't, the sight of Mom and Dad holding hands in the front seat so tightly, so desperately, would have made him break out into hysterics.

When they arrived home it was as if four zombies exited the car and dragged themselves inside. Blaine gave each of his parents a long hug before turning to Sam. "Thank you for coming." His own voice sounded a million miles away.

Sam hugged him without a word, and Blaine decided to give in just this once, just a little. "Can you stay for a while?" he whispered.

"Duh," Sam said, and with that they went to Blaine's bedroom, where Sam turned on the TV out of sheer routine.

Blaine sat on the mini-couch by his desk, knees curled against his chest and arms wrapped tightly around himself. As much as he tried to resist it the news was really starting to sink in, like the dam in his brain was cracking and slowly letting poison flow through. He squeezed himself harder.

Sam sat down next to him and put his arm around him. Blaine choked out a sob. He wasn't going to be able to keep it together, but he was reluctant to let himself go in front of Sam, to need him again… But, dammit, he _did_ need him, and badly.

"Blaine, I'm so sorry." Sam's voice was thick with unshed tears. This was affecting him and the rest of the Evans just as much- their families were like one.

Wanting to keep his feelings in check, Blaine kept himself safely curled up, but allowed himself to lean his head on Sam's shoulder and let a few tears fall. This was ok- he could control himself, his protective armor was still safely up, just with one small hole for the time being. He could hear Sam sniffling, too. They stayed like that for an hour, not a single word spoken between them, but that was ok since there were no words to express the dread they were feeling.

Xxxx

April 27th

"So, are you going to Colorado with your parents?" Sam asked.

"They think I should stay here. They're worried I've been too stressed and want me to relax this summer. Can I see your history book?"

"Yeah, here."

They were at Sam's house studying. Blaine had let himself get so behind on his schoolwork at the beginning of the semester that he had to ace all of his finals to get his grades up to B's. At the moment he was working on his essay final for history, his eyes stinging from all the reading.

"So are you going to?"

"Hmmm?" Blaine asked, distracted.

"Are you going to stay here?" he asked seriously.

"Oh. I'm not sure… I don't want to be away from my dad…"

"They're right, though. You've been so stressed helping out your dad every day… It would be good for you to take it easy," Sam said.

"But what if-" Blaine stopped short. He couldn't say it out loud; what if Dad didn't come home?

Sam gave him a sympathetic look. Stupid mind reader. "Everything will be fine. I know it," he said.

Blaine nodded. He could tell Sam really wanted him to stay, and he whole-heartedly agreed about being so stressed, but he didn't think he could physically handle it; the thought of Dad being so far away automatically made him nauseous, and the thought of staying here to have a whole summer with Sam again… It was bittersweet and made his chest ache.

"Please, dude? I really think you should stay, even if it's only for a month," Sam said sincerely.

Blaine looked up to Sam's pleading expression, and although it was wrong and extremely messed up, he couldn't say no, so he humored him. "You're right. I could use a breather."

The delighted grin that spread across Sam's face immediately made Blaine feel terrible. He tried to smile back, but it probably looked more like a grimace. He started to form a plan in his head. A stupid plan. A cowardly, deceitful, easy-way-out plan that wasn't at all fair to his best friend. But he had to… He couldn't bear to tell him his feelings in person. It was bad enough thinking about how betrayed Sam will feel at the surprise goodbye...


	7. The Letter

**Again thanks for the reviews! I've written quite a few fanfics (not all posted) and this is the one I'm the most proud of so far, so I appreciate all of the nice feedback. We're getting close to the end! Two more chapters after this!**

Chapter 6- The Letter

May 18th

Dear Sammy,

I've been sitting here for hours trying to figure out a way to say this, and I've got nothing, so I'm just going to put it plainly: I love you, Sam, and not as a friend or a brother. I'm in love with you, like ridiculously stupid in love with you. I don't want to imagine your reaction to that last sentence, I just want to say I'm sorry for letting it get this far. Because I tried, Sam. I tried with everything I had _not_ to like you because you're the best friend I ever had, but then I realized I was doomed from the beginning. You're just that awesome. For a while I tried to figure out how this happened, and I realized it's simply _you,_ and the amazing things you do. Everything you did made me fall for you more:

-when you rushed to Kurt's aid that day Karofsky pushed him, I knew you were more than I unfairly assumed.

-how you treated me like we had known each other forever even though I was too scared to say a word to anyone

-when you pushed me to sing at Regionals freshmen year. That's when I understood the depth of your thoughtfulness.

-being nice enough to teach me how to box and defend myself. (I'll always keep my first, worn-out pair of boxing gloves.) You saved me. I wasn't living, and you helped me to not be scared to anymore. That's when I understood the depth of your kindness.

-how you can _always_ read my mind or tell when I'm lying, to the point of annoyance sometimes.

-last year, the way you only cared about your family's well-being when you were also suffering, and the look of utter relief and adoration toward your siblings when you guys got a house. That's when I understood the depth of your loyalty.

-volunteering almost every day during Christmas break to help those less fortunate, when you were literally just homeless. That's when I understood the depth of your selflessness.

-my 17th birthday present. I didn't realize it at the time, but that was when I completely fell for you. Seems trivial, doesn't it? A birthday gift… But that was when I knew there was no going back.

-punching Sebastian in the face in my defense. Enough said.

-never leaving my side since my dad got diagnosed, though I probably deserved it. You never gave up on me, even going as far as talking to Mr. Shue and my parents because you were worried. I can't put into words how much that means to me. You saved me, _again,_ when I was headed back to that dark place.

So, that's it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you this in person, and I'm even more sorry that I lied to you about going to Colorado. I just need to get away for a while because the last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable. Maybe if I get away I can finally move on. I've tried; I even tried dating that asshat Sebastian to get over you, but there you were, waiting in the wings to make me feel better when he dumped me. I really hope this doesn't make things weird between us because I need you in my life… I promise I would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship, and I promise that I'll move on.

Anyway, I guess that's it. I'll be back in August. I'll miss you, and I'll let you and your family know how Dad's treatments are going.

Sincerely,

Blaine


	8. Sam

Chapter 7: Sam

Junior Year- May 18th

"Tina, I know you know something. Why is he avoiding me, and why are you helping him?" Sam asked accusingly.

"First of all, I don't know why he's avoiding you. Second of all, he told me to tell you not to worry, and that he'll be in the choir room after school to say good-" Tina's hand flew up to her mouth and her eyes went wide.

"To say goodbye?" Sam's heart sank as he finished her sentence, his suspicions confirmed. "He's going to Colorado, isn't he?" Tina gave a guilty nod. "Where is he?" Sam demanded.

"That I don't know. I just know he's ditching."

"Dammit!" Sam groaned and left the cafeteria. He had a feeling Blaine would end up going with his parents, but that's not what bothered him- what hurt more was the fact that he was avoiding him. The Andersons' flight left at 3:30, so obviously Blaine didn't plan on saying much before he left. Why would he leave Sam high and dry like that? Blaine swore that Sam was some kind of psychic, but in this instance he was at a complete loss as to what that guy was thinking. Maybe Blaine was just isolating himself again, but Sam had a feeling it was something more. Whatever the reason, Sam was desperate to find him. He needed to tell him something, and for some reason it felt like once Blaine got on that plane it would be too late.

Xxxxx

 _Freshmen Year_

 _May 30_ _th_ _\- Nationals_

" _Hey, have you guys seen Blaine?" Sam asked as he looked around the hotel lobby._

" _Him and Kurt went out to eat," Artie replied._

 _Mercedes chimed in, "Jeez, it's about time Kurt asked him out. He's liked him since he got here."_

" _They're on a date?" Sam asked._

" _Yeah. I wonder how it's going," she said._

 _Quinn came and wrapped her arms around him protectively. Sam hated when she did that; if he was talking to a girl- any girl- Quinn had to come and claim him or something._

 _He took out his phone and considered texting Blaine, but if it_ was _a date he didn't want to be rude… He got a weird, unsettling feeling in his stomach at the idea of Blaine and Kurt together. A mental image of them kissing flashed through Sam's mind, and for some reason it thoroughly annoyed him. Maybe he just didn't want Blaine to get hurt. Not that Kurt would do that, but Blaine had been through a lot and was barely starting to come around, so Sam was just worried. Not annoyed, worried._

 _Xxxxx_

 _Sophomore Year- November 25_ _th_

" _It's ok to be scared," Blaine said quietly._

" _I'm not scared for me, dude! I'm scared for my brother and sister," Sam choked as he thought about the possibility of them going hungry, or not having somewhere warm to sleep. Blaine grabbed his hand and gently squeezed it, encouraging him to keep talking if he wanted to. Sam squeezed back like Blaine's hand was an anchor keeping him afloat and continued: "They've already had to deal with a crappy Thanksgiving, and now they're going to have a bad Christmas. It's like, no matter how many stupid pizzas I deliver, I never have enough money left to buy them presents. Or my parents. And they all deserve so much more."_

" _So do you," Blaine said._

 _Sam laughed sarcastically but it came out as a weird choking sound- he definitely didn't deserve it. When his Dad moved them out here no one was more upset or resentful than Sam. He gave his parents the cold shoulder for a while, and when he did talk it wasn't very nicely. Blaine didn't know any of that- he thought Sam was some kind of selfless hero person, when really he was selfish and wanted to stay in Kentucky with his friends. No matter that his parents were stressed already; he just added to it._

 _He couldn't stop some tears from falling. His family deserved better than a motel room, and he wished he could give it to them, like it would somehow make up for his behavior. It was so unfair. How could someone just come in one day and take their home away- a home with young kids- and then live with themselves knowing they just put a family on the streets?_

 _Sam couldn't explain why he did it- it was one of those things that just sort of happened. Maybe it was because he was trying to feel better, but suddenly he was tracing the back of Blaine's hand with his fingertips. He felt Blaine tense next to him for a moment before doing it back and then quickly ripping his hand away._

 _That was weird… What made Sam do that? He didn't want to give Blaine the wrong idea or anything... Blaine then blurted loudly that he didn't have to worry about Christmas, that he and the glee club would take care of it._

 _Well, he obviously wanted to pretend nothing happened, so Sam would go with it. Besides, he wasn't sure what just happened himself._

 _Xxxxx_

 _March 8_ _th_ _\- Regionals_

 _Ever since Sam started living at the Anderson house, he was having weird thoughts. Like how defined Blaine's abs look when he wears a muscle tee, or how incredible Blaine was for everything he did at Christmas and convincing his parents to let them stay there, or how pretty his eyes were. Yeah, weird things like that. He never thought he was gay, but the more he thought about it, he realized he never really_ liked _any of the girls he dated in middle school, and he dated Quinn because it was pretty much expected of him. He had to admit to himself that making out with her didn't do much for him. That is, there was no 'spark.' Sam figured it was just because he couldn't stand Quinn, but what if there was another reason that he wasn't aware of?_

 _After their win at Regionals Sam found himself alone outside thinking about this, and that's when Mercedes found him. Without a word she walked straight up to him and kissed him smack on the lips._

" _I'm sorry. I wanted to do that before I chickened out," she said breathlessly._

 _Sam was completely caught off guard. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he smiled politely and asked, "So what did you think?"_

" _I think I want to do it again."_

 _Being in the confused and befuddled state that he was, Sam kissed her back, forcing any other voices in his head to go away, including the one that said there was no 'spark' here, either._

 _Xxxx_

 _April 29_ _th_

" _I'm so happy for you guys!" Blaine said as he hugged him._

" _I know! I feel like I'm going to explode with relief!" Sam felt like he could cry he was so happy. He felt as light as a feather, euphoric._

 _Blaine looked up at him with a tender expression and Sam got that weird feeling in his stomach as he held his gaze, that feeling he'd been getting more and more lately when he was around him. Sam had a strange urge to lean forward, but maybe he actually did without realizing it because Blaine snapped back like he had been electrocuted. After an awkward silence in which Blaine got a soda, Sam tried changing the subject. He took a step closer to him and asked, "So are you nervous for Nationals next weekend?"_

 _Blaine clumsily stepped backward again and spilt a glass of wine before answering. Did Sam freak him out? He didn't mean to. If so, all was forgotten in the excitement of the Andersons' surprise vacation for them._

 _Xxxx_

 _June 30_ _th_ _\- California_

 _Sam had a feeling he already knew what Mercedes wanted to 'talk' about, but did she really have to do it over the phone?_

 _With a heavy heart he dialed her number. "Hey, you wanted to talk?" he asked._

" _Yeah…" The tone of her voice said everything. "Look, Sam, I really liked you, but I always had a feeling you were never on the same level, you know?"_

" _Yeah, I know," he admitted guiltily. "I'm sorry. I never should have led you on."_

" _It's ok. I'll be ok." Silence. "Um, I guess I'll see you in the fall," she said shakily._

" _Ok. I'm sorry," he said again. "Can we still be friends?"_

" _Yeah, yeah I'd like that," she sniffed._

" _Ok. Bye, Mercedes."_

" _Bye, Sam." Click._

 _He threw his phone on the bed and went to his bag to get his sketchbook. Drawing usually made him feel better, and right now he felt like crap. He had had two girlfriends in his high school career and they both dumped him. He felt bad for Mercedes- she was one of his closest friends and he never meant to hurt her, but the longer they were together the more he couldn't deny the lack of chemistry, and apparently neither could she._

 _Ugh, his head hurt. With an exasperated sigh he started to roughly sketch a pair of boxing gloves, his mind wandering to his best friend. He remembered how Blaine was so nervous to learn how to box. It was adorable, and so was the look on his face when Sam gave him a pair of gloves for an early birthday present. And then three months later he came back from California and didn't even look like himself anymore. He was a new and more confident Blaine Anderson, and Sam remembered being really proud of him. The memory brought a small smile to his face as he continued drawing the outline of someone wearing the gloves, who, naturally, started to take the shape of Blaine._

 _Suddenly Sam was struck with an idea. He didn't have money to buy Blaine anything for his birthday, but he could always make him something. The pencil moved more fervently across the page as the image came together in his mind. This would be nothing compared to when Blaine bought him tickets to comic-con for his birthday last year, but still, Sam hoped he would like it._

 _Xxxxx_

 _Junior Year_

 _August 23_ _rd_ _\- First Day of School_

" _Hey, Sam," Brittany sat at the desk next to him and smiled._

" _Um, hi," Sam replied, puzzled. Him and Brittany never really talked outside of glee club._

" _So I need you to be my boyfriend," she said casually._

" _What? Why?"_

" _Because we need each other, silly," she laughed airily._

 _Sam furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "I don't get what you…"_

" _Just trust me. I need you for my situation and you need me for yours. So I'll see you tonight for our first official date." With that she got up and walked dazedly to her seat._

 _And that's how he randomly started dating Brittany S. Pierce. At least, unlike with Mercedes, Brittany_ did _seem to be on the same non-commitment level as Sam- more than he knew at the time, in fact._

 _Xxxxx_

 _October 7_ _th_

 _Every day Sam grew more and more sure that he had a thing for Blaine, and he had no idea how to deal with it. Every time he wanted to make a move Blaine would pull away so fast it was like Sam was contagious with something. Like in California after Sam gave him his birthday present, his stomach was all butterflies as he saw how close Blaine's face was to his own, and he thought that would be the moment to finally figure out what he really felt, but then Blaine stepped back and changed the subject._

 _Sam had to infer at this point that Blaine just didn't like him like that. Everyone always teased that Blaine had a crush on him and he laughed it off, secretly flattered, but what if they were wrong? That idea didn't sit well with Sam. Why wouldn't Blaine like him? Was there something wrong with him? They were best friends… With how often they were together Sam didn't think it would be that far of a stretch to extend that title to boyfriends._

" _Sam, can I talk to you?" Brittany pulled him out of his thoughts._

" _Yeah, what's up?" he asked vaguely._

" _Our relationship has served it's purpose. It's time for us to part," she said in that nonchalant way she had._

" _Ok… But what do you mean?" he asked._

" _I finally have the guts to be a unicorn, so I don't need to pretend anymore. You should do the same." She pecked him on the cheek._

" _Unicorn? What the-?"_

" _Yes, unicorn! We're unicorns, Sam, and there's nothing wrong with it."_

" _Britt, I don't understand the way your mind works. What are you talking about?"_

 _Brittany rolled her eyes. "I'll put it this way: There are three men in this school I_ haven't _had sex with: Kurt, Blaine, and you, and I_ dated _you! What does that tell you?" She waited a moment for him to connect the dots, and when the look of realization crossed his face she smiled and walked away._

 _Sam was a unicorn, and he was a unicorn for Blaine Anderson._

 _Xxxxx_

" _Sam?"_

" _What?" Sam asked, distracted by his thoughts._

" _What's the matter with you?" Blaine started to look worried._

 _Should he tell him? How do you tell your best friend, who's thought you were straight for the last two years, that you think about kissing him, like, all the time? Sam worried that if Blaine didn't like him back he will have made things awkward. "Nothing, it's nothing," Sam cleared his throat, his mouth suddenly dry. "We should go see a movie on Friday, or go bowling or something." Oh, God, did that sound like he was asking him on a date, or was he overthinking this?_

" _I'm actually busy Friday night," Blaine mumbled._

 _Sam got a bad feeling and reluctantly asked, "What are you doing?"_

" _I'm going on a… A date," he said unsurely, obviously nervous about it._

" _With who?" Sam tried not to sound petty._

 _Blaine slowly looked up and said tentatively, "Sebastian Smyth, from Dalton."_

 _What? Sam remembered Blaine coming over steaming about how much of a raging idiot that guy was. Trying to contain his bitterness he said, "I thought you said he was an ass."_

" _Maybe I'm wrong about him," Blaine dismissed. "We're going that that bar, Scandals. Should be interesting."_

" _Yeah. Interesting," Sam said to himself. Interesting that he was right the whole time: Blaine didn't like him._

 _Xxxxx_

 _November 30_ _th_ _\- Sectionals_

 _One punch didn't feel like enough. Sam had never hated anyone before, but Sebastian was pushing it. How dare him talk about Blaine like that when he himself was the one with nothing to offer. Blaine had always had shaky confidence, and now that he was doing better Sam hated to see someone try to bring him down. And it did bring him down. He tried to act like he was ok and denied that anything was wrong, but Sam knew him better than that._

" _Goodnight, Sammy. I'll see you on Monday," Blaine said when he pulled up in front of the house._

 _Sam could tell his mind was elsewhere. He didn't want him getting down on himself because of some arrogant douche. He needed to know that Sebastian was dead wrong about him. "Don't take a dickhead like Sebastian seriously, dude. You're awesome."_

"Honestly, _can you read minds?" Blaine asked incredulously._

" _Only yours," Sam teased, though he didn't feel that was accurate. Since the day they met, Blaine was a constant mystery to him. He always had to try to figure him out or pry the truth out of him. It was exhausting._

 _With his eyes on the steering wheel Blaine gave a sad smile before he murmured, "I used to feel that way about myself, every minute of every day."_

" _What?"_

" _I knew in my heart I was a pathetic loser when I got here, but then I met-met everyone in glee club. Tonight I realized that I'm still exactly the same, still crazy, still awkward, still just…" he trailed off._

" _Pathetic?" Sam filled in sarcastically. The hateful tone he used against himself made Sam wish, again, that he'd gotten at least one more punch in._

 _Blaine nodded. How could he possibly think that about himself? Just because a jerk like Sebastian Smyth said so? Without thinking about it he grabbed Blaine's hand. His head snapped up, his dark eyes bewildered. "You're the complete opposite, you know. You're like, the strongest and coolest person I've ever met." Even in the dark Sam could see him blushing as he looked down again, and for once he didn't jerk away like Sam had the black plague. Interpreting these as positive signs, he slowly put his hand on Blaine's cheek to make him look up. He could feel the warmth radiating off of his skin. "You're amazing," he whispered._

 _Blaine looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights and, before he could change his mind, Sam started to lean in. This was it! Finally, after months of wondering, he would know what it felt like! He could feel Blaine's quickening breaths on his lips…_

 _They both jumped at the sound of Blaine's phone ringing. Dammit! Sam sat back in frustration, but immediately started to worry at the tone of the conversation._ " _Dude, what's going on?" he asked when Blaine hung up. Instead of answering he just stared into space. Sam worried he might be going into shock or something. He shook his shoulders. "Blaine! Talk to me!"_

" _Can you drive me to the hospital?" he asked meekly. Sam's heart stopped as the blood drained from his face, but he immediately got out and went to the driver's side door. He didn't know what happened, but he knew it was bad. He tightly gripped Blaine's hand the whole silent drive there. It never stopped shaking._

 _Xxxxx_

 _February 8_ _th_

" _Blaine!" All of the air left Sam's lungs at the sight of Blaine on the ground struggling to breathe, unable to get all the way up. In a flash Sam was at the water dispenser and handing him two small cups full- he couldn't even get a whole one down because he couldn't get his breathing under control. Sam was starting to panic. Should he call an ambulance? See if the nurse was still here?_

" _Blaine, deep breaths, come on." He tried sounding calmer than he was. Out of pure instinct Sam went to embrace him, but the second he touched him Blaine went still as a statue, his body tense like he was terrified. Sam pulled back and looked at him curiously, a little stung by the rejection, and he didn't like what he saw: Blaine's eyes were far away and cold as he held an eerie, neutral expression._

" _I'll b-be fine, but th-thanks, Sammy. I'm gonna g-go," he managed to say. He left the room, still unsteady on his feet, but something told Sam to leave him alone, for now._

 _With a knot in his gut Sam realized why that ghostly look on Blaine's face bothered him so much: it was how he looked when he first came to McKinley, when he was too scared to talk, when he refused to let anyone past that wall he built around himself. No, Sam wouldn't let that happen again. He wouldn't give up on him. He couldn't. Blaine was too good of a person to go through that again- seriously, couldn't the universe just cut him some slack for once?_

 _Sam ran frantically to Mr. Shue's office. He didn't know what to do, but he had to do_ something, _because he knew now that he loved Blaine, and he would give anything to be able to stop him from going through any more suffering._

 _Xxxxx_

 _March 20_ _th_

 _Sam knew that he couldn't act on his feelings for Blaine, not with so much going on, not when he still wasn't acting like himself. Sometimes it took all of Sam's will to not grab him by the shoulders, shake him, slap him, anything to make him snap out of it, but he had to be patient. At least that's what Blaine's counselor said when Sam went to him for advice._

 _It seemed to pay off since today Blaine asked him to go with to hear his dad's test results. Somehow Sam had convinced himself that Mr. Anderson would pull through, because it just had to happen that way, so he was shocked when Dr. Paige said the radiation didn't work 'as well as they hoped.' As she kept explaining and recommended some hospital in Colorado, Sam could sense Blaine's growing anxiety, eventually needing to put his arm around him because he looked like he could pass out any second._

 _When they arrived back at the Anderson house Sam figured that Blaine was going to shut him out again and ask him to leave, but to his surprise he asked him to stay for a while instead. Though he was still distant, he actually allowed Sam to comfort him, a little... Eh, he still counted it as a win._

 _Xxxxx_

Junior Year

May 18th

Sam ran into the choir room and skidded to a stop. As he caught his breath he noticed the room was empty. What the hell? Tina said he'd be here right after school. His mind started racing. Maybe he would check his house first, and then the hill on the other side of Lima City Park he sometimes liked to go to...

"Sam," Blaine's voice came from behind him, making him jump.

"Jeez, Blaine!" he gasped.

"Sorry," he said, but Sam could see a hint of a smile at the edge of his lips. Apparently scaring the crap out of him was hilarious.

"You're going to Colorado," Sam stated.

Blaine looked down shamefully, any trace of humor wiped from his face. "I'm sorry. I know I said I would stay, but-"

"I don't care about that," Sam interrupted and walked over to him. "Where have you been?"

Blaine reached into his jacket pocket and took out an envelope. "I've been writing this. I need you to read it, but not until I leave." He held it out, not making eye contact.

Sam grabbed it roughly. "You avoided me to write a letter? I'm not going to see you for three months, and that's what you're going to leave me with?" Sam asked incredulously, but immediately felt bad for snapping because, he didn't notice until then, Blaine was on the verge of crying. "I'm sorry. I just needed to talk to you," he said.

Blaine finally looked him in the eyes, but it was that same black, distant look that Sam hated. "I can't talk. I have to get to the airport. I just wanted to give you that and say goodbye."

"Please, it's important," Sam pleaded.

For a second he thought Blaine was going to give in. His iron mask cracked as one tear rolled down his cheek, but then suddenly Sam was caught in a quick, tight hug as Blaine said in his ear, "I can't right now. I'll call you when I get there. Goodbye, Sam." With that he let Sam go and left the room at a fast walk without looking back.

Sam stared at the envelope in his hand, scared to read what was inside. Blaine was only leaving for the summer, so why did that goodbye sound like it was permanent? What did he have to write that he couldn't tell Sam in person? With an aching in his chest he opened the letter and began to read.

Xxxxx

May 19th

Sam thrust his luggage into the trunk of a cab outside of the Denver International Airport and hurriedly got in the back seat. He whipped out his phone and gave the driver the address that Cooper sent him. It was the address to a cabin that Cooper was renting for him, Blaine, and his mom while their dad was in the treatment center.

"How long will it take to get there?" Sam asked.

"It's close to the foothills. I would say maybe forty-five minutes," the man replied.

Sam nodded impatiently, his leg bouncing up and down. Since the moment his parents said he could come here- and helped him out buying the last minute plane ticket- Sam grew more and more desperate to get to Blaine. He needed to physically _see_ him so badly it made his stomach hurt. He needed to tell him everything, like how he had always loved him and that he didn't need to ever be sorry for feeling the way he did. During the increasingly painful long drive Sam tried to think back if he did or said something that made Blaine feel like he couldn't tell him this. Why was he so scared of how Sam would react? He had always made it a point that Blaine and Kurt never be uncomfortable about who they are around him. Did his best friend of two and a half years really think he would be freaked out or offended? Yes, Sam realized, of course Blaine thought that. He, and so many others, had been _conditioned_ to think that exact thing- Sam remembered Kurt telling him that a friend of his got punched in the face because he asked a guy for his number. Instead of saying 'Thanks. I'm flattered but I'm straight' like a normal person, the guy decked Kurt's friend and called him a faggot. After what Blaine had to go through at his old school it made complete sense that he would be scared to tell someone he thought was straight that he liked him. How could Sam have not seen it before? Apparently the glee club _was_ onto something when they joked about Blaine crushing on him.

Sam grew more restless as he got lost in his thoughts. After almost forty minutes of driving Sam felt like he was going to explode.

"Just another few minutes," the driver said.

His heart started to race. This was it. He had no idea what he was going to say or what would happen, but he couldn't turn back now even if he wanted to. With shaky hands Sam pulled out his phone and called Cooper.

"Yo," he answered.

"Hey, I'm here," Sam said breathlessly. Jeez, he was acting like a complete girl.

"Alright bro, just come on in," Cooper replied. Sam hung up, ready to jump out of the car before it was even completely stopped. He grabbed his bag out of the trunk and threw the money he owed through the open passenger window. "Thank you very much," he called over his shoulder as he ran and rudely burst through the front door. He found himself in a cozy, warmly lit living room. To the right was a small but functional kitchen where Cooper was sitting casually at the table. "Down that hallway, second door to the left," he said lazily without looking up from his phone.

Without answering Sam strode down the hall and stood in front of the closed door for a moment to catch his breath. He couldn't remember ever feeling this nervous, but the desire in his gut, the need to be close to Blaine, overpowered any nerves or doubt he was feeling. With one last deep breath Sam knocked on the door. He heard sounds from inside. _Oh God oh God oh God…_ His whole body was trembling with anticipation.

Blaine opened the door and froze. They stood there just staring at each other for what felt like forever until he finally gasped, "Sam? What are you doing here?"

Sam didn't know what to say. He travelled all this way and now he couldn't think of a word to say?! He stepped forward and pulled Blaine into him, inhaling the smell of his cologne and hair gel. "Sam, what-?" Blaine tried to pull away, but Sam wouldn't let him this time. He squeezed him tighter, the dull ache in his chest finally starting to lessen the longer he held him. He nuzzled his face into Blaine's neck and ran his hands over his shoulder blades, his breath quickening as he felt Blaine shiver at his touch. Sam pulled back, grabbed the front of Blaine's tee shirt, and forcefully pulled his face to his own, kissing him with all the desperation he had felt on the way here. After the initial surprise, Blaine started to kiss him back, wrapping his arms around Sam's torso and making his skin feel like it was on fire. A warm, pleasurable feeling rose from inside him as he deepened the kiss, his head swimming with the taste of Blaine's mouth. He finally pulled back due to the need to breathe, but kept a tight hold on Blaine's shoulders as if he would disappear if he wasn't in Sam's reach.

"I-what…" Blaine trailed off, his face flushed pink and eyes dazed.

Sam slowly traced his hands down Blaine's arms before grasping his hands in his own, never breaking eye contact. Ok, it was now or never- he needed to tell him. _Don't be a coward. Just say it!_ "I love you, too," Sam said shyly, resisting every instinct that told him to look away or turn around and run.

The most amazing smile he had ever seen spread slowly across Blaine's face. It was a smile of pure happiness. Sam returned it and leaned in to kiss him again, and he finally knew what everyone meant when they talked about kissing; he finally understood the indescribable feeling one was supposed to experience when kissing someone they loved, and he couldn't be happier that that someone was his best friend.

Sam was a unicorn, and he didn't care one damn bit.


	9. Epilogue

Epilogue

Colorado

July 16th- Blaine's Birthday

Blaine woke up at five in the morning practically bouncing with excitement- he couldn't remember the last time he woke up in this good of a mood. About a week ago they had gotten the amazing news that Dad was in remission, so Mom invited the rest of Sam's family to come out to the cabin to celebrate and decided Blaine's birthday would be the best day to do so, and Blaine whole-heartedly agreed. He couldn't ask for a better present than his dad's recovery.

The rest of the Evans family wouldn't arrive for a few more hours and Mom wasn't going to pick up Dad until later that day, but Blaine was way too giddy to go back to sleep. He decided to take a quick shower and then went down to the kitchen to make himself some toast, his earphones on full blast as he danced to a few Lady Gaga songs. He got so lost in the music that he didn't notice when Sam walked in and made himself comfortable at the table until he turned around to go sit down.

"Holy-!" Blaine flinched and almost dropped his plate, immediately going red. "How long have you been sitting there?" he exclaimed.

Sam had to catch his breath from laughing before he could reply. "Just for that last song. Nice moves, by the way," he teased, trying not to laugh more.

Blaine sat next to him at the table. "Spying isn't nice," he pouted before taking a bite of his toast.

"I'm just glad to see you acting like yourself again, especially on this most special of days," Sam said as he put his arm around Blaine's waist, immediately causing his stomach to flip in a thousand directions. His breath caught in his throat when Sam leaned in and started planting soft kisses on the side of his neck, making his whole body tingle. "Do you know what dance I like more, though?" Sam asked between kisses.

"Hmmm?" Blaine groaned, trying to focus on breathing normally.

"The dance you and Mike did for 'Hot for Teacher.' Now _that_ was hot." Sam chuckled and pulled away.

Blaine laughed. "Wow, I forgot about that! You thought that was hot? I felt ridiculous."

"Definitely _not_ ridiculous," Sam confirmed, his face going a little pink.

"Maybe I'll perform it just for you," Blaine said seductively, making Sam's face go darker as his eyes went wide. Blaine chuckled at his expression and slowly leaned toward him, tangling his fingers in his messy blonde hair as their lips met. Sam tightened his grip on his waist and pulled him closer, pressing their bodies together and suffocating Blaine with his body heat, engulfing him in a blissful fire… A low groan escaped his throat as he felt Sam's tongue softly push his lips apart and explore his mouth. He lustfully pulled at Sam's hair as the sensations overwhelmed him, making Sam kiss him harder.

Eventually they broke apart, both panting, Blaine's heart pounding in his ears. "Well, this is already the best birthday ever," he breathed, a goofy grin spreading across his face.

Xxxxxx

"Now I'm not so naïve as to believe you've never had a drink before, but, since you're eighteen now, allow me to pour your first parent-approved glass of wine."

"Thanks Dad. I'm honored," Blaine teased. Dad poured some for everyone but himself and the kids and stood up to make a toast with his glass of water.

"Let's raise a toast to Blaine!" Dad exclaimed. Everyone shouted 'Happy birthday!' and clapped. "Son, you had to become an adult long before now, and that's a shame, but I couldn't be more proud to see you transition into the young man you are today." Blaine blushed and gulped down half of his glass as everyone did a sarcastic 'Aaaaw.'

"Oh yeah, that's definitely not a first-time drinker right there," Cooper laughed.

Sam went along with it. "Trust me, he has experience."

Blaine punched him in the arm and retorted playfully, "Hey, Dad said he's perfectly aware of that fact-"

"That doesn't mean I approve," Dad said responsibly.

"Ok, before Blaine downs the rest of his drink, I'd like to make another toast," Cooper stood up and waited for the chatter to stop. "To Dad, and his clean bill of health!"

"Here, here!" They all yelled and took a drink. The Anderson/Evans clan couldn't stop smiling, and Blaine couldn't remember the last time he felt this happy, this whole. He had a lot to be grateful for: Dad was in remission; He was sitting in Colorado with all of his loved ones in front of the beautiful Rocky Mountains on his 18th birthday; and last but most definitely not least, he had Sam. Blaine reached under the table and squeezed his hand. Sam turned to him with a shy smile and leaned in to kiss Blaine softly on his cheek, saying quietly in his ear, "Happy birthday." Blaine's insides turned to jelly as he felt Sam's breath on his neck.

Intertwining their fingers tightly, Blaine smiled back and responded, "The happiest."

 **Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!**


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